Andy Petitte Will Not Sweat It

When Congress calls out Andy Petitte,
You best know they won’t regret it.
What the truth is, he’ll have said it.
That’s the deal with Andy Petitte.

When they call out Chucky Knoblauch,
He will have a hem-and-haw block.
When they call out Roger Clemens,
He will throw them 20 lemons.

When they call up David Justice.
He won’t show; on that, just trust us.
When they haul in Sammy Sosa,
He’ll be drunk on bad mimosa.

When they call in Barry Bonds,
Be surprised if he responds.
All those stinking Mark McGwires?
We say, question them with pliers!

But if they call up Andy Petitte,
He will go and never sweat it.
Drug abuse? He’d never let it.
That’s the deal with Andy Petitte.