The Roger Clemens Songbook: "Mitchell, the Feds and Congress"

(Sung to the tune of "Lawyers, Guns and Money" by Warren Zevon)

Dropped my pants down to my ankles,
McNamee gave me a shot;
How was I to know
It wasn't B-12 that I got?

I had trusted that my trainer
would help me deal with pain;
Tell Mitchell, the Feds and Congress
I thought it was lidocaine.

I'm an innocent right-hander,
No corners did I cut;
But Congress wants to see pictures
Of an abscess on my butt
... of an abscess on my butt
... yeah, an abscess on my butt

Now I'm hiding out in Houston,
Recorder hooked up to my phone.
Tell Mitchell, the Feds and Congress
To leave me the hell alone!