TechoYankeetorial: MacBook Air is the Kyle Farnsworth of Computers

Reports Tech-Correspondent MONS MEG (right)...

Last year Apple gave us the Kindle (clunky) and the iPhone (pricey). Now comes the newest gadget du jour, the Macbook Air... clunky and pricey. This ultra-light, ultra-thin laptop has a few ultra-annoying problems:

1. Battery can't be replaced at home. What? Battery low? No problem. Send it to the Apple/Grinch workshop, (Burma?) For a freaking battery.

2. “Pinch-zoom.” What the...? Pinch-zoom? Pinch-zoom? Sounds wicked queer.

3. Macbook Air is a name for sneakers. Unless it refers to the way you can Frisbee its skinny ass across a parking lot.

4. Just as slow as MacBook Pro for downloading porn, or Yankee highlights. (Or porn Yankee highlights. Hello, Luis Polonia?)

5. No disc drive. Hey, we still own a lotta discs!

6. Blows off table if you sneeze.

7. Slips between sofa cushions and gets lost.

8. Accidentally gets set in newspaper recycling bin.

9. Mistakenly used as Kleenex.

You think I'm red-rashy now? Wait 'till April, when they drop the price.