There comes a time to state the obvious.
The Yankees 1996 incursion into Tampa Bay was a mistake.
Based on the wrongful assumption that a New York team would be hailed as liberator, the opening of Legend Field has always been a policy doomed to fail.
Now, we find our young players attacked, our manager impugned, our media blind to the central issues, and we are viewed as an occupying team on Ray soil.
In recent days, violence has again flared. Does anyone think it will stop? Whipped into a blood frenzy by Ray strongman Joe Maddon, who scorned our peace talk requests with acidic comments about red wine and Internet music, the Tampa terror squads will demand more home plate collisions.
More chilling today are the words of Jonny Gomes, telling the world what we most feared: that Ray children are taught in T-ball madrassas that violence is the only way out of a rhubarb, and their losing seasons will only end when the Devil Yankees leave.
We are at a crossroads. This is a deeper quagmire than George would have us think. The weak and doddering Bay Rays have always viewed us with supreme contempt. They hated us for opening a better stadium than the grain storage facility that they inhabit, and for drawing more media on an off-day than they receive on the home opener.
They’ve hated us with the intensity of a billion suns. And now they attack.
They want us out.
We say, do it.
Padlock Legend Field by Saturday. Move our Grapefruit League franchise to a city that would treasure the most historically storied group of 25 pro athletes on Planet Earth. What’s happening in Birmingham? Macon! New Orleans! Frankly, we could go back to Punta Gorda, even though the team once got sick there. If we start now, we can dismantle Legend Field, girder by girder, so the locals can see what they’ll be missing -- and maybe turn against their local regime -- by next spring.
We can rise again in a new Grapefruit setting, leaving the Rays to reign in their personal hell.
The time has come. End the violence.
What do we want? YANKEES OUT OF TAMPA!
When do we want it? NOW!
What do we want? YANKEES OUT OF TAMPA!
When do we want it? NOW!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Yankeetorial: It's time to pull our forces out of Tampa
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6 comments:
The Orioles are in Ft. Lauderdale but they are weak and can be easily displaced. Just sayin'.
Upon secondary reflection, I believe we should relocate to Reston, Virginia, where security can be at its tightest.
A few more years of global warming, and all the teams will be playing there anyway.
I say we lay seige to Fort Myers!
Of course, with rookie infielder Billy Crystal on the squad, he'll bitch and moan about going to Miami, but what the hey.
Billy Crystal playing today is like John McCain's visit to Bagdhad.
It will be, in his words, "just like a county fair in Indiana."
But watch them "pat down" that Ray pitcher...he may have to pitch nude.
Billy will be delivered by Humvee to the ballpark, dressed by Secret Service agents, and given a helmet to wear and a bat to walk around with, in case some raggedy child runs after him screaming for candy.
Back home, we'll all be told it was a fun day for all and brought a sense of well-being to the locals.
Then, he'll be whisked out of there like Spitzer on Kristen.
We want your asses out of Tamp too...I'm glad you agree
Go Rays!
Go Rays? Go Devil Rays? Go UV Rays? Go what now?
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