The latest addition to the lineup...
Mid!
"Thank you, thank you. I hope to help lead this valiant team towards another season below .500. I only wish that our wonderful captain, Prince Frankenstein, will let me bat fifth, bunt on a left field shift, and take me out after 4.5 games."
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Now batting...
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Rookies
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15 comments:
You got a purty mouth.
Shoot, Middy. I thought you'd be better looking.
Welcome Mid!
I hope the king doesn't toss you out of the castle window if you're not funny ... but then again, if you're not funny, you probably should be tossed out castle window.
Heh, heh.
Welcome, rookie, to the big leagues.
Your locker is over there, next to the ice machine. Just use that big hook above the door for your things. The ice is free.
But don't chew it for God's sake. Shelly Duncan hates that, and he'll body slam you back to Scranton if he hears someone crunching.
One other piece of advice; Prince F is not the king of the castle. He is not our leader. He is, by most measures, a promising prospect. He doesn't know anything about football, either.
Why does that matter? Because when things get desperate, and they will, we sometimes are forced to change the subject.
That's how the Giants came to win it all this season.
El Duque is captain. He runs things here.
Prince F is really good, however, on road trips.
I have already invited him down with me and Edwar to work out in the South Mexico dirt field league.
He stands with a 36 ounce Louisville slugger at the outline of home plate (which is scratched into the dirt in the shape of Ohio), while Edwar works on his sole pitch. That incredible change-up that has no impact whatsoever on major league hitters.
None.
The leader is the one who gets things done. That changes from time to time depending on the task. Lead yourself. It is the only way.
Alphonso is wise, but like most prophets, he's nuts.
Dukie is deeply flawed and unsure of himself but has a good heart. We'd be dead without him, though. Give him tough love
Frankenstein is brilliant but cocky, and easily distracted. He is wise in the ways of the world... just not this one. But his valor is unquestioned.
The rest are good allies though untested by battle. But they are here because the are smart and tough and understand what it takes to win, even the ones with ladies' names.
Don't forget to flush the toilet and make sure the ice trays are filled. And don't set the thermostat too high. And when we're down to the last few bottles, make a beer run. And never buy "lite" beer. It's for girls.
You'll be fine.
Penetrating analysis, whitey. But how could you not mention that I love turkey?
Prince Frankenstein likes to penetrate turkeys.
I stand corrected.
We have no leaders. We have a utopian society, which is where everybody gets to make the decisions, and when we get together, we wear paper bags over our heads.
But dammit, I'm up to here with talk about Susyn and MID. How about that Joba Chamberlain and them Yanks! WE FINALLY BEAT THEM STINKIN' RAYS!
Oh, and one other thing...
MID, you really ought consider a sexier and more developed IIHIIFIIC screen name.
Guisseppi Franco? Michael K? Dawn Larson? Yogi Beer?
Think of something.
I like Yogi Beer. A. Lot.
Why didn't I think of something clever like that?
Damn!!
(How about B-Rod? Elston Coward? Billy Martian? Bobby Murder? Ducky Bent? Jim Leyritz?)
Bobby Murder.
I'm tempted to change my name.
But only SuperPrinceCaptainFrankenstein gets to do that, four times a week.
Done and done el duq. I've gone through a personality change thanks to your interrogative badgering of my self esteem.
Look at what you created!
Don't pick on SuperdeluxeFrankenstein, Duckman.
He's our Rain Man.
Carp all you want. As I indicated in PRIVATE CORRESPONDENCE -- the appropriate forum in which to work out our PRIVATE disagreements -- I'm not going to waste my beautiful mind on it.
Michael Kei is a great name.
I guess Alphonso neglected to mention to two ladies on this team -- Mons Meg and Wailin' Suzyn -- for one reason -- he's a sexist lout!
You'll never see the women's dressing room for this team, Alphonso. Never!
C'mon Mons, let's go get some ice cream and recover.
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