Youk still unplunked; season not yet baptised

Not sure what the problem is. He's standing right there, waiting for his medicine. In fact, Kevin Youkilis wanted it so badly last night that he hit himself with a foul ball and had to leave the game.

Sheesh, he's doing our work for us.

Now, before some of you willy-nillies out there object to the tone of this -- "Oh, mercy me! Do something! The evil people at IT IS HIGH are actually calling for a whacking!" we're not demanding a career-ender. We're calling for the symbolic bottle of champagne to be bashed onto Old Ironsides. We're calling for the rites of spring.

Fish gotta swim, bird gotta fly,
Youk gotta duck when comin' in high...

Also, and you can look this up, by all modern ethical standards established by the White House, to bean Youkilis is legal, moral and, in many respects, an act of kindness. The Geneva Convention no longer exists. Neither does the Jeter-Lilly Pact. (Hit Jeter, and Lilly will throw at your players' heads.) At worst, it's retribution.

Yes, retribution.

Last night, they wasted no time in plunking A-Rod.

Youkilis is waiting for it. Come on, let's go.

We have yet to whack a Redsock mole this season. Will somebody just do it?