Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Alphonso Reported Missing; Boss-Napping Suspected !!!


Reports from the southern Mexico City of " Cuidad de Mexico " indicate that IIH, IIF,IIc field reporter Alphonso may have been "boss-napped" by a busload of French tourists.

French workers, as we know, have been besieging bosses all over France, as anger at proposed layoffs generate increasingly forceful protests.

At a Caterpillar Inc. facility in the French Alps, four bosses were detained in their offices Tuesday, in a bid to secure better severance packages. They survived on only mussels, frites and Pouilley Fuissee.

It is rumored that each of the French tourists ( union workers all ) want a contract like the famous French ballplayer, Alexander DeToqueville Rodriguez.

"A contract wherein failure has no penalty. And money and babes flow to the worker," stated one protest banner, refelecting the red, white and blue colors of the French Flag.

Alphonso's favorite Cantina, located adjacent to first base on the now famous home field of the Independent South Mexico Dirt Field League, was a scheduled "stop-over " site for the French tour group.

As part of Alphonso's "idea-of-the-month" for building international interest in the 2009 dirt field league season, this scheduled tourist stop resulted from his, " eco-green-international-friendly-baseball" promotion, recently marketed in France and Sierra Leone.

As the twitters come in to CNN, eye witness reports indicate that when the tour bus pulled away, after a 4 day stay at the Cantina, Alphonso had gone missing.

The French newspaper, Le Figaro, indicated that union-staged national protests were now extending beyond the borders of France, into " theatres internationales."

Worried relatives, amigos, and the bartender at the Contina are concerned that Alphonso might have to survive on tacos, hot jalapeno poppers, and tequila if he is, indeed, on that bus.

How long will hope for his survival linger, under those conditions?

Updates at 11:00pm.

3 comments:

She-Fan said...

I just called in an Amber Alert. The USA is on this, Alphonso wherever you are.

Yankee Shamus said...

I have $36 and about three man-sized joints I can contribute to the ransom.

Lost Fonzy said...

Keep the $36.