Redsock rehabber Smoltz hurls tonight in Swine Flu Capital of Northeast

Well, well... look who's pitching tonight in the Emerald City of Syracuse, home to the most deaths per capita due to Swine Flu in any place north of Manuto's last reunion... our old pal, John "Vote Ralph Reed for Senate!" Smoltz. (cough)

Me? I'm hoping to go (sneeze) early and greet the Pawsock Tucketeers (sniffle) as they spring forth into the Hot Zone. I wanna hug each player and make sure he has his courtesy blanket and free pass to the TGI Friday Salad Bar. Do you think they'll autograph genitals?

Hope the row of seats behind the bullpen is open. Good place for projectile vomiting.

PS: Billy Traber had better bring a gas mask.