And although he blew it with the May Doomsday prediction, YouTube/trailer park sensation Harold Camping - (sorry for the redundancy: "YouTube/trailer park") - has now updated his call to the Armageddon bullpen for this fall.
It's coming, folks: The final save of humanity.
Considering our recent whine sessions about the play of Derek and Jorge, the Yankiverse should start preparing itself. This is not going to be as easy as demoting Chris Dickerson.
When Posada in April/May started hitting like Cameron Diaz, (a former Yankee fan,) our outbursts occasionally ran into the ultimate domain of human disgrace: We sounded like Redsock fans.
Now, with Jeet back, we face the inevitable carping (yeah, I don't do it too) about his hitting, lack of range, need to lead off... good grief, we lost to Cleveland, what's not to carp about?
Listen: The coldest nights are coming. When Mariano falls, the days will be darker, messier, angrier - and we had better come to grips with our emotions. No position in American sports forces one player to stand naked against the world moreso than the baseball closer. The game's been won, three outs remain, and the closer must close. No statistic ever conceived by modern sports geeks ever brought more pain than the Blown Save.
One of these days, our dignity will face the ultimate test.
Each of us, in private moments, must start pondering this. Mariano Judgment Day is coming, my friends. Make peace with your God, be it Jesus, Allah, or L. Ron Hubbard.
When the end comes, will you be a Yankee fan or a Redsock fan?
Mariano is not done yet. Unless his elbow is gone.
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1 comment:
I can't wait until the inevitable 12 vote swing away from Kei at the closing of the poll. You fuckers are going to screw him again, aren't you ?
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