For nine years, we have been making comic books. We are about to publish our masterpiece...

For nine years, we have been making comic books. We are about to publish our masterpiece...
We need your help.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The dream of Andrew Brackman, the Big Unit II, has ended

I don't like this.

I don't like this, because it suggests the Yankees have become penny-pinching, Dickensonian grubs - when we're supposed to be the one team in American professional sports that would give Satan a no-trade clause, if it ensured a pennant. But here we are, sitting by our coal fire, counting our dubloons and cackling over the nickel bottle deposits we just took from the bottom of Bob Cratchit's couch.

A few weeks ago, we measured the gills of former first round pick Andrew Brackman and then pitched him back into Lake Selig. A few writers winked and said we were simply lowering his price. Yesterday, the Wee Willie Winkies proved wrong, because the 6'10" Brackman signed with Cinncinati - the club that once scored Josh Hamilton from the scrap heap, after another team soured on that former first-round dream. 

Brackman was a bust. Couldn't throw strikes. I admit it. But he was our bust. He looked like a giant squid encased in ethyl alcohol, and if he ever calibrated those tentacles, he might be lights-out unhittable. Something tells me he will do just that - maybe around age 30. Won't matter. We let him go. To save money, I guess.

In my life, the Yankees always embodied the one earthly pleasure where I never had to sweat about money - where I was rich, where I never worried about a player contract, and come Christmas, there would always be a new star waiting under my tree. Now, we're pinching pennies.

I don't like this.

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