Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Redsocks get Mark Melancon for a plate of fried chicken

Fess up. You never thought the 2010 midsummer Lance Bergman deal - with its three-pronged horror of a) Bergman sucking as a Yankee; b) Mark Melancon excelling as an Astro and c) Bergman then returning to form as a 2011 Cardinal -- could possibly worsen. 

Well, it did today.

Boston traded Jed "Leadfeet" Lowrie and an inflatable car mannequin for Mark Melancon, their future closer and hopefully the lifetime symbol of the last late-summer trade the Yankees ever make for an aging bumbledorf.

But let's face reality: There was nothing Brian Cashman could have done to prevent today's trade other than go back two years in time and strangle Bergman with his bare hands. Had we made Houston an offer for Melancon, we all know what the Astros would have demanded: Jesus Montero, Dellin Betances, Manny Bannelos and an everyday starter, either Brett Gardner or Nick Swisher. Plus cash. And maybe the Cashman family puppy.

Way I see it, Eduardo Nunez and David Phelps would be far more than what Houston received, and to make that deal, I would swim Onondaga Lake, the biggest cesspool since New Orleans drained. But hey, that's why Houston has become the MLB powerhouse that it is. Can't wait to play them in the American League. Buy your tickets now.

This is a bad day. A very bad day. Now, watch Boston sign Jimmy Rollins, peddle Marco Scutero for a middling starter, find themselves a rightfielder and dammit, they're back in business. They're like a rattlesnake in the road. It might look dead. But don't turn your back.

1 comment:

pepitone said...

Melancon will be exposed when he pitches in the AL.