Yesterday, the Retrieval Empire added journeyman catcher Carlos Corporan to the Scranton playlist, continuing our K-Mart austerity plan in a time when every other MLB franchise is buying at Bloomingdales.
FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Posted by el duque at 7:07 AM
For the record, I wish Carlos luck. He's 32, a career .212 hitter, and a few years ago, he and his wife suffered a terrible tragedy, when their 16-month old son died from heart complications. He deserves nothing but respect. And the fact is, add a tweaked gonad to spring training, and you can see Corporan on the opening day roster. His signing is another case of Brain Cashman doing what he does best: Picking through the scraps. And these days, that's the Yankee improvement plan.
Corporan's signing came as the Mets added Yoenis Cespedes, the O's Chris Davis, and the Tigers Justin Upton. In each case, up until the very end, hopeful bloggers suggested the Yankees might vault in suddenly and surprise everyone. These people take LSD. We vaulted in suddenly and surprised everybody by getting Carlos Corporan.
How did we get this way? How did the wealthiest franchise in American sports - heir to the NYC money-making market - become penniless? And why are we doing this?
On the day he was born, Hal Steinbrenner had pretty much the same net worth as today: It's infinite. It's uncountable. When Hal earns another dollar, he's now worth Infinity-plus-1!
Obviously, Hal is cutting costs because that is the metric by which he has chose to judge himself? He could be trying to set personal records on the treadmill, but that's not doing it for him. His goal is to make the Yankees sleek and profitable. To win as many games as possible while spending as little as possible. And he can't do the former until he has first accomplished the later.
Will that be his legacy? Will the baseball historians someday say Hal Steinbrenner brought frugality and humbleness to the Yankees?
Or is this just a passing phase of somebody born with too much money at his disposal? After all, two years ago, Hal - seemingly on a whim - larded up the Yankees with three of the most questionable long-term contacts in recent history: Beltran (3 years), McCann (5) and Ellsbury (7). Ever since the reality of those deals became apparent, Hal's plan has been to wait until around 2020, when everybody is off the books and he can press reset.
Which leaves us with Carlos Corporan.
Back when the Yankees were great - the days under Torre - now and then, when things were going bad, Paul O'Neill would smash up a water cooler. I wish there was a way we could that now. Yesterday, my fave Yankee blogger, Mike Axisa, wrote about this Yankee winter...
If you think about it - "since 2012" - that's not saying much. But still... I wish I felt it. But all I see is Carlos Corporan, and it hurts to laugh.