Friday, September 8, 2017

The curse of the Jogbino? So long, Seattle

Today, it is with giddy pleasure that I must report that, with three weeks left in this melted Popsickle of a season, the Seattle Mariners have effectively checked out of the 2017 Wild Card race.

Having lost three in a row, they have fallen four games out in the battle for the one-game, away-field berth, and - more importantly - must now gain ground on five teams. Sorry, Seattle. Your baseball team didn't even make it until the start of the NFL season. Oh, well, there's always next year!

What warms my heart is the red-black hurricane of vengeance, which stirs anew whenever I think of Jogginson Cano's grand quest to bring fame, or respectability, or maybe just Beyonce, to the Emerald City, after loping away from future iconic Yankee status for a few extra pieces of gold. Nope, I haven't forgiven him. And nope, nope... I never will. 

By the way, this year, at age 34, Cano is hitting .280 with 21 home runs - not bad, unless you recognize that among MLB second basemen, he ranks 11th in average and sixth in homers. He's a fine, upper-tier second baseman, unless you consider that Seattle has him for - gulp - six more years at - double-gulp - $24 million per. Yep. Trump will be 77 and Mitch McConnell 81, when Cano retires in 2023, at 40, and it is my sincere hope that he remains ring-less to the end. 

Okay, I know what you're thinking: My anti-Cano rage is irrational; he's got mouths to feed, a roof to put over his family. He merely did what anybody would do - score the extra year of cash and go wherever some fool is wealthy enough to supply it. If an owner wants to pay a guy $24 million at age 40, why say no? Besides, it's just Monopoly money to billionaires, and Food Stamps Steinbrenner he could have ponied up the extra $24 million out of his clam dip budget, thus sparing us the perpetual carnival sideshow - Stephen Drew, Brian Roberts, my boy, Brigadoon Refsnyder, (now .171 in 76 AB in Toronto) et al - that occupied 2B until Starlin Castro arrived, now at 27 and hitting .313. 

I'm angry - always will be - at Cano for his wandering eyes of greed, looking for more money when he had a team, a city and fan base that loved him. It's like a guy with a loving wife of eight years, who runs off with a hooker. He bought into Jay-Z's naive plan to become the new Scott Boras, to build a sports agency colossus, which required somebody to chase the most money he could find, regardless of whether it was the right move. Now, Robbie's gone four years without a playoff appearance - and another bungled season is nearly in the books. 

Good riddance. Not many players can make me side with Food Stamps Hal. But a jilted lover has a right to be resentful, and Cano still draws boos in Yankee Stadium. I just remember John Sterling back in 2013 assuring us that a deal would be made, that the Yankees would never - NEVER - let Robbie leave. Then came the day he left, and our response was to sign Jacoby Ellsbury to a nearly equally bad contract. Damn. Bad news all around. 

It's been a crapola four years since Robbie left. But the Yankees seem to be pulling out of it. With any luck, by this time next year, we should be awash in enough young infield talent - Glyber Torres, Miguel Andujar, Tyler Wade - (not to mention Didi and Starlin) - that the notion of keeping Cano would have us shaking our heads. We'll be done missing him. But he could have been a Yankee Hall of Famer. He could have been the next Jeter. He could have stayed a Yankee until his final days as a DH. He wanted an extra year of salary, when he'll already have too much money to count. So long, Seattle, and good luck: He's only going to jog slower.  





21 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Yes, but how will we feel when we wake up one morning two years from now and read that the front office traded prospects in order to bring Cano back?

Anonymous said...

Probably just about the way we feel now, LBJ - - Fire Girardi - - Fire Cash-Puss - - Fire Dandy Randy - - Fire Lonn - - Impeach the Orange Orangutan - - ad nauseam, now that Stick's gone (he was one of the few good ones we still had).

Don't know 'bout you guys, but I took great pleasure in Bill Bellicose (-cheat) & Mr. Deflate-Gate, and poor Bobbie Kraft's gang of oligarchs LOSING last night...gotta be a good night when one of those Beantown Cheaters' teams loses - - especially at Foxborough.

Too bad for Joggie, as well...hopefully, Prince Foodstamps wouldn't take him back, with that ridiculous contract - - he wouldn't would he?? Pleez say he wouldn't.
Pretty pleez. LB (No J)

Friend of Local Bargain Jerk said...

After Robbie took the payday, Pete Rose said, "Jay-Z did a great job, he got Cano a lot of money and an extra month off, October" (which is surprisingly witty for a guy who took a few heaters off the noggin).

And was there ever another client/contract for Jay-Z or did he get bored with the whole agent thing after HBO took Arli$$ off the air?

Alphonso said...

How does Taylor Wade get on anyone's list?

The guy is a .123 hitters in the bigs.

Please. We can do better.

I loved the kid in spring training, then he got here.

And bombed.

Prove his worth to me. Go ahead. I dare you.

John M said...

Alphonso, I think it's clear that after trading Clippard we have to conserve all the Tylers we have.

el duque said...

Alph,

You're wrong about Tyler Wade. He was the best SS in the International League, he's young, and he can play anywhere. He got off to a terrible start in the majors. So what? It's out of his system. Next year, he'll be a factory.

I'm not sure where he fits into the Yankee future - but you can never have too many prospects like this guy. The modern team needs 2 catchers, 5 outfielders (next year: Frazier, Judge, Hicks, Ellsbury, Gardy) and 7 infielders (Bird, Castro, Didi, Glyber, Wade/Torreyes, Andujar and - gulp - Headley?)

Wade will help this team.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yes, Jogginson's move made no sense on so many levels. It wasn't done to be closer to home, wasn't to LA so he could capitalize on other publicity possibilities, wasn't to a contending team. A guy with that little desire, he is getting exactly what he deserves.

Yes, Wade can play anywhere. Give him another shot.

And yes, all New England fans are now officially jerks, after that display last night in Foxboro. They're still furious with Roger Goodell for slapping their wrist for cheating, when...they cheated? And after they won two Super Bowls?

The official mouthpiece for Boston sports, The New York Times, quoted one of these mental midgets as bragging that they were "Goodell's worst nightmare." Yeah, if a bunch of morons giving an idiot fan website free publicity while he sits in his luxury box is Goodell's worst nightmare, then he is one sound sleeper, my friends.

New York fans would have grinned over something like this, said, 'Hey, you caught us, but we won anyway!' and quietly gloated. In New England, they're still angry.

It's like I said after the Red Sox finally won in 2004: "At least now all the whining will stop." Apparently it never does.

Buhner's Ghost said...

As a long, long suffering Mariner, I can't refute most of Duque's bitter rant. Seattle hasn't won with Cano, just as it hadn't won without him. But his acquisition did give Seattle something it didn't have: a glimmer of hope, a presence in the lineup, a clubhouse leader, a beacon to attract other dreamers (most notably, Nelson Cruz) while soldiering on on two gimpy legs. His production may be down this year, but the Mariner lineup is completely dysfunctional when he's not in it, as he will be at 2B, 1B or DH for another six years on his way to 400 HRs, 3000 hits and a Hall of Fame plaque wit a Mariners cap on his head. Get over it, Duque. The Buhner trade is still haunting you.

Anonymous said...

How the hell is Bird supposed to get going on time for the playoffs er extra game if he's siytin his villianous looking ass on the bench

Leinstery said...

This team really sucks. Twice in 3 days they've put up a good frame and then couldn't take advantage of opportunities to tack on

Anonymous said...

Goddamn Girardi!! What the hell does he see in Kahnle, anyway?? A pox on his house, and Cash-Puss & Hal for trusting him, and for trading for the dope. LB (No J)

I'm Bill White said...

I was delighted to see Cano choose Seattle.

Anonymous said...

Which brain-eating virus is Girardi suffering from?? He puts Caleb Smith in there, and who does he have up throwing?? Heller. Those guys can hardly cut it in Scranton.

If the Yankees' pitching-talent evaluators could see past the damned radar-gun, they'd be dangerous. I swear to God, if the second coming of Orlando Hernandez (bless him) auditioned, they'd turn him down flat. "Can't throw hard enough"...Idiots!! LB (No J)

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much, Joey - - nice to see you've given up on this one...Bryan Mitchell up throwing in the pen. Great.

So thrilled at how we man-handled Pudge's prodigy (progeny, too, I guess), as well.

If it will rid us of Girardi, half of me now wants to MISS the one-game damned "play-off" game. Won't take much more of this, and ALL of me will be hoping. LB (No J)

13bit said...

We suck. We did not to trade those young guys last month or whenever. We're NOT going to contend this year. We gave them away for dog kibble. And I include Sonny in that statement. We suck. HEY HEY, HO HO JOE AND CASH HAVE GOT TO GO. HEY HEY! HO HO! CASH AND JOE HAVE GOT TO GO!!!

Anonymous said...

You GO, 13bit!!!

I'm a night person - - I'm not a bit tired - - but I just turned off the DVR - - there's no damned excuse for this - - 10 unanswered runs, FCS!! I'm so blasted angry that I couldn't sleep if I were a dawn-riser.

Pretty bad, when a 62-year, loyal fan who's been through some really bad times with the team can't even STAND to finish watching a game...Over & out. LB (No J)

Leinstery said...

Can we dream that Girardi gets fired this off-season? Can they bring back the prodigal son Buck Showalter

HoraceClarke66 said...

Buhner's Ghost, maybe what your team should NOT have done was give a huge chunk of its payroll to one, semi-involved guy, already past the median age for players getting better. Beacon of hope, or no.

13bit...yeah, you're right. Just read last night that Zack Littell, with his minor-league playoff win, ended up 20-1 on the year, with a 2.12 ERA. 20-1! But hey, he's a soft thrower! In the majors, I don't seem him as any better than 16-5 or so.

Meantime, those trades really put us over the top. And don't knock Sonny Gray: why, he can ALMOST get through 6 innings with an 8-1 lead!

But hey, there IS a silver lining: at least we won't have to seriously entertain Tanaka's new contract demands after this season. Anybody wants to pay more than $22-23 million for a .500 pitcher with a 5.00 ERA is welcome to him. Maybe he can become the next beacon of hope in the Great Northwest.

Don't mind me, I'm just a bitter, bitter man...

Anonymous said...

GIRARDI! GIRARDI! GIRARDI!!!!

1.) WHY THE HELL WAS GREG BIRD NOT IN TODAY'S LINEUP????- HE DIDN'T PLAY YESTERDAY EITHER.

IS GIRARDI ACTUALLY KEEPING OUR FUTURE 1ST BASEMAN (AND WHOSE BAT WE NEED NOW), ON THE BENCH FOR CHASE HEADLEY???? I KNOW HEADLEY HAS BEEN HITTING LATELY, BUT YOU DON'T BENCH BIRD!....YOU BENCH TODD FRAZIER (.210)!!!! (THROWING YIPS FROM HEADLEY ASIDE).

2.) WHAT IS WITH GIRARDI BATTING JUDGE 2ND???

IT DOESN'T WORK!!.... AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT OUR RECORD IS WHEN HE BATS 2ND, BUT I KEEP REMEMBERING SHAKING MY HEAD WHEN I FIND OUT, THEN BY THE END OF THE GAME, SAYING TO MYSELF, "IT DIDN'T WORK, GIRARDI HAS TO STOP BATTING HIM 2ND." IT HAPPENS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

3.) GIRARDI HAS LOST HIS MIND....

WITH ALL OUR "ELITE" RELIEVERS WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE, HOW IN THE HELL, DOES HE TRUST SMITH AND HELLER TO PITCH ANY CRUCIAL INNINGS FROM THE 7TH INNING ON???

4.) GIRARDI ALWAYS WORRIES ABOUT TOMORROW'S GAME, TO A FAULT.

CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT WHO GETS TO REST, (EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER THAT NEEDS THE REST THE MOST- JUDGE) ..... AND CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT RELIEVERS THAT MAY GET "OVERWORKED" (EXCEPT FOR CLIPPARD WHO HE WHIPPED LIKE A MULE AND KEPT TROTTING HIM OUT THERE TO "GET HIM BACK ON TRACK")......... IT ALL DOESN'T JIBE.... IT ALL DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

IS HE LOSING HIS MIND?


Joe F said...

Girardi= baseball version of ol' John McCain

HoraceClarke66 said...

Leo Durocher used to say, "Never save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow, it may rain."

Or, in the modern game, it might be a blowout where you don't need to use that one of the 27 guys you have in the bullpen come September.