Sunday, September 10, 2017

Wherever we face them, whatever their plight, Tampa will be playing on pure anti-Yankee spite

No team hates us like the Rays. Nobody. Yeah, the Redsocks are our "traditional rivals," but that's all marketing: They need us, like the Joker needs Batman, like peanut butter needs jelly. If not for us, they're Boston College playing West Virginia. Talk to a nutjob Redsock fan, and he'll tell you the Yankee pitching staff down to Caleb Smith, which many Yankee fans can't do. I've seen these poor Redsock people. They are closet Yankee fans, pinstriped trannies, all torn up inside due to their denial. They are living a lie. They simply hear people booing Aaron Judge, and they boo along with the mob. Sad.

Tampa fans are a different critter. The city fathers want them to be whipped into a froth by the mere image of the Yankees, but they just don't care. They're more inclined to root for the NFL Bucs or, better, watch reruns of Cougar Town. The Tampa Ray ownership desperately wants the city to hate the Yankees, because - kaching - it would fannies in seats and, besides, the Yankees have set up shop in Tampa, behind enemy lines. Their games are on Tampa radio, and they directly challenge old fashioned Tampa civic pride. 

Thus, when they hear the word "Yankees," Tampa Ray Ray players are programmed to explode with a blistering, coronal mass ejaculation of pure hatred. The Rays are always young and naive: Tampa trades them, as soon as they start earning money. This is their first taste of the Major Leagues. They'll not just climb a wall to steal a Yankee homer, they'll run through it. When the Yankees arrive, Eva Longoria becomes Evan Longoria. The Rays go nuts. They want to beat the Yankees because it's the last time in their professional lives that some fake home town spirit will motivate them. 

This week, we play Tampa at Citi Field, theoretically a Yankee home crowd. It won't matter. We should be very afraid of the Rays. They may be almost out of it, but they will be spiteful.

There will be fans rooting for them out of sympathy - (and who doesn't feel it? what's happening is a catastrophe; dear god, I have lifetime friends hunkered down, trying to ride it out in Punta Gorda!) - but nothing will more delight the Rays than knocking out the Yankees. 

Beware this series, folks. They're going to come at us with pitchforks.


HoraceClarke66 said...

But here's the really important news: Trenton advanced to the Eastern League championship series!

I bet Garrett Cooper just loves playing for a Double-A championship, after hitting .366 in Triple-A this year.

Leinstery said...

They need to fill those trophy cases with something.

Binders Joe brings in Chad Green in an 8 run game and is burning him out for the foreseeable future. I'm beginning to think the Binders are like Sauron's ring, pure evil and corrupts the user to madness.

Leinstery said...

Sanchez hits one way out to center, and John can't stop talking about the grassy knoll. I've asked it before and I'll ask it again, does John know something about the Kennedy assassination that we don't?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, no. Now we'll have to kill you. Sorry, Leinster.

Anonymous said...

Yeah - - all that Kennedy info is due to be released this year - - but WHERE's VOLUME FIVE of the Oswald files?? Huh?? Who disappeared it??

I have the same-damn, rotten feeling about the Rays that you expressed, Duque - - hope we're both wrong...but like many other bottom-dwelling franchises, they always overplay & achieve when they're playing the vaunted Mudville know that.

The Rays oughta' be more worried about what's happening to their homes right now -- but, let's face it, even IF their ownership is one of the few stingier than Prince Hal - - they're still mostly millionaires - - or close enough. What the hell, just build a new St. Jetersburg doesn't get damaged either.

My thoughts and wishes are with the ordinary folks, who will have five feet of water & mud in their houses - - and no roofs on top. They are the ones who deserve our help. LB (No J)