Sunday, December 15, 2019

Would Redsocks orchestrate a tank in 2020?

It's a bit off-putting: Redsock fans calling me lately, cap in mouth, unspooling like Sylvia Plath, to concede the entire 2020 season. 

For starters, you cannot trust anyone from Boston. This is an undeniable, undebatable, History Channel-worthy fact: Redsock fans, Celtic fans, Patriot fans, clam chowder fans - doesn't matter: They lie like drug companies. Sit them at a kitchen table, mention the Yankees, and they'll rant like supervillans plotting to kill Batman. Far worse than Met fans, who just sort of pathetically mouth whatever delusions flow through their Lipton tea-bag heads. (A Met fan cannot be held accountable for the drunken Salvador Dali soliloquies that form while he/she contemplates Bobby Bonilla.) Redsock fans are evil - worse than us. At least, we call ourselves evil. They deny it. That's really evil. 

Anyway, the question is: How should we deal with their current, mealy-mouthed, "woe-is-me" double-dealing? They have spent the last month...

1) Talking about the imminent trade of Mookie Betts, which - frankly - will never happen. Everybody knows this. They're just whining like a 9-year-old who wants a pony for Christmas and knows it's not coming. They want everybody to tell them how sorry we feel for their plight. This is when I hang up the phone. Mention Mookie, and I'm gone.

2) Letting Rick Porcello walk to the Mets on a one-year, $10 million deal, which - frankly - they could have afforded. Instead, they signed 28-year-old Martin Perez, a pitcher who was thrown overboard by the Twins. They saved $4 million - dip money - all to scare Mookie, I guess. But this is how their team treats players who win them a World Series. 

3) Talking about trading David Price, which - if they do it - will end up looking a lot like the seemingly lopsided deal that made Giancarlo Stanton a Yankee. When they gave Price that insane contract, we all knew it would eventually turn into a millstone. (Just as Gerrit Cole's deal will someday do, as well.) Right now, if somebody would take Price's price tag, Boston would trade him for a bag of Doritos. And, of course, they'll all start sobbing about how 2020 is over.

I don't know what to make of this. As late as September 1, I still held a stark and brutal fear of the Redsocks. (In this millennium, how can you not?) They stood a mere winning streak away from the Wild Card game, with no less than Chris Sale ready to start in it. Rafael Devers was looking like a future MVP, and Nathan Eovaldi was returning from his latest gonadal tweak. Then, kaboom, the bottom gave out. 

So now, their always-demoralized, self-absorbed fans talk about kissing off  2020 - an orchestrated tank, which would let them shed Price, JBJr (or, as I call him, "Mr. Lifetime .236") and anybody else not named Mookie or Rafael. I just dunno. But we've seen what happens when Boston gets off to a bad start. They tank. And when Boston tanks, they don't fool around. They become the Exxon Valdez. They trade everybody, they finish last, and they draft high. 

I'm not saying Boston is ready to throw 2020 into the Insta-Pot. They have way too much talent. But right now, their fans are a lost tribe. And they are already thinking of tanking. Keep them away from the gas oven. 

6 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Mmmmm ... Insta-Pot ...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, the town's had 20 years of unprecedented success, across all sports in all seasons.

And the whining still doesn't stop.

13bit said...

self-pity is so ugly.

so is the combination of overweening arrogance and insecurity, something they will never shed.

Alphonso said...

They are cowards. If they were vegetables, they would b rotten.

But they gain by losing when you mention David Price. The Yankees.....albeit with Giancarlo in the nursing home re-hab facility at the time...tended to explode on him. Beat him badly and, thereby, humiliate the entire Boston team and network.

We dreaded his name in the line0up and then destroyed him.

So if Boston gives him away, they are better off.

As for the fans, only Putin would take them.

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