Fantasy Island: The Robbie Cano "What-if-he-stayed-a-Yankee?" question

On this dreary November Saturday - with virus cases soaring, with the weather turning cold, and with the wolf at our door - what better way to kill time than by imaging the world if Robinson Cano, back in the winter of 2013-14, had chosen to stay a Yankee?

That is Ken Davidoff's shtick in today's Morning Murdoch, and - okay - he hooked me. Davidoff goes for laughs - hey, it's a "What if...?" - but his jokes obscure some crazy arcs of history that would have been altered, if only Robbie had not chased a 10-year deal with Mephistopheles and jogged off to Seattle.  

A few changes I'd like to add, if Robbie had stayed a Yankee...

1. We probably would avoided Jacoby Ellsbury, whom we signed on Dec. 7, 2013 - a date that will live in Yankee infamy - about 100 hours ahead of Cano's exit. Ellsbury's eight-year deal signaled that Hal Steinbrenner was moving on, killing Robbie's time in Gotham. I can't emphasize this enough: Had Robbie stayed, we could have been spared one of the worst debacles in Yankee history. 

2. We would have missed the four-year revolving door at 2B of Brian Roberts, Stephen Drew, Jose Pirela, Dean Anna, Zelous Wheeler, Dustin Ackley, Jackie Mason,  Gilbert Gottfried, Howie Mandell, and former IT IS HIGH milk carton missing child Rob "Brigadoon" Refsnyder. Cano would have played 2B, anchoring the infield and probably batting third. In those four years with Seattle, he never batted lower than .280 and hit 97 HRs. As a Yankee, he probably would have done better.

3. We might have avoided Giancarlo Stanton. After all, it was Starlin Castro - yet another 2B replacement - who in 2018 fronted our side of the Stanton deal. (Yeah, Cooperstown Cashman might have found someone else to trade. But Castro filled all the boxes for Miami. Just sayin.')  You can even imagine a scenario where Boston - having fallen to the Cheatstros in the 2017 post-season, might have wildly dealt for Giancarlo. Instead of Jose Devers, whom the Yankees added to the trade, wouldn't it have been sweet if the Redsocks dealt his older brother, Rafael?

Ach. Why am I doing this to myself? Somewhere out there, deep in the Great Beyond, spins an alternative Earth where John Sterling still delightedly shouts "a ribbie from Robby!... Robbie Cano, a-doncha-knooooow!" to brighten our path in this darkness. Of course, there'd still be Robbie's PED scandals - back then, we heard whispers - so, we'd have our share of grief. And here's the reality: You can't go back. You can't tweak history. The butterfly that flaps its wings in China - Wuhan Province, for example - creates the hurricane that attacks North Dakota.

So, on this dreary Saturday in November, you hear the wolf braying? Don't open the door. We face the greatest challenge of our Yankee fan lives - a Met owner with money who is willing to spend it. No "What if...? can alter the fact that Gary Sanchez sucks, or that we have no starting pitcher after Gerrit Cole. Still... close your eyes and bathe in the Calgon warmth of a world where Cano had stayed. 

It would be better for everyone - and most of all, Robbie.