Is Trevor Bauer wooing the Mets, and should Yankee fans care?

If the Yanks lose DJ LeMahieu to free agency - a Cat-5 disaster for which we should now be preparing - Dollar Store Hal Steinbrenner's resulting money vacuum needs to flow toward one objective: Pitching, pitching, pitching... 

Right now, the best one out there is NL Cy Young winner Trevor Bauer, who increasingly looks like a bad fit for our fully functioning Death Barge. The latest example of this incongruity is a 17-minute video from Bauer, in which he hails new Mets owner Steve Cohen as "a voluptuous, groin-boiling seductress of hot oiled sexualty" "setting himself apart from his main competitor," a reference to our favorite money-grubber. 

A coupla things...

1. In his marathon video, Bauer cheers Cohen for engaging fans on Twitter (something Hal does not do), targeting a world series ring in three to five years (something Hal has not done) and turning over baseball decisions to experts (something Hal has done, depending on definition of "experts.") These are compelling reasons for Yank fans to fear the next decade. Cohen looks like a fat and happy billionaire who wants to win a pennant, compared to our frat boy, whose want to win while monetizing the family inheritance. In no time, Cohen has become the most beloved owner in NYC. (The bar rather low, eh?) For Met fans, I have one thought: I'll believe this when I see it.

2. It's not uncommon for free agents to gush over NY sports owners. In fact, it's good business. Bauer has many reasons to praise Cohen - perhaps 300 million of them - and even if the Mets don't bite, coaxing a New York team into any auction will boost the bottom line. Remember the outreach tours of Manny Machado and Bryce Harper two years ago? When the Yankees barely returned calls? This tradition extends back to the days of Jack Morris and collusion, when the Tiger pitcher boldly wondered why the Yankees weren't interested in his services. So Morris pitched Detroit to a world series, the Yankees sucked, and old George smoldered. In many respects, this is simply the grand sports tradition of wooing the rich Gotham fat boy.

3. Who makes a 17-minute video? An idiot, generally. Someone who loves to hear himself talk, who thinks whatever he says is brilliant, but it's not worth writing out in advance, because that stuff is for losers. Seriously. Seventeen minutes. Wow. I ask Mets fans: Do you want to subject yourself to this?  

4. Somehow, long ago, Bauer ended up on Gerrit Cole's shitlist. This extends way back to their days at UCLA, and usually these matters involve a cheerleader, but that's none of our business. Nevertheless, this I do believe: Cole has proven himself to be a great Yankee teammate, and if for any reason - public or private - he doesn't like Bauer, we should think twice about signing the guy. Maybe time has heeled their differences, and maybe they would even play off each other in friendly competition. Or maybe we should look elsewhere for pitching. 

5. Which brings me to the part where I fling my hands into the air. I don't have a clue what the Yankees should do about pitching. That said, I'd hate to see them trade Clint Frazier or Miguel Andujar for the next version of J.A. Happ. There is one path to upward mobility, and it is by growing your own. Other teams do it. Tampa sure does. If we lose LeMahieu, I say we keep Masahiro Tanaka, buy another Japanese pitcher - (there are several coming over) and pin our hopes on Deivi Garcia and Clarke Schmidt. Unless either starts putting out 17-minute videos.