Monday, August 23, 2021

There is something strange about Tyler Wade

This is hard, because I don't wish to cast heavy-handed aspersions on any Yankee's authenticity.

It's just... wrong. Players, after all, are people - homo sapiens, like you and me - with our strengths and weaknesses, our zits and dimples, our ingrown toenails and our tooth decay, who, like all of us, take off their shoes to defecate. 

I believe the Yankiverse must strive for diversity and inclusiveness - welcoming all players, all types, and accept all their foibles.  

That said, it's time to stop ignoring the elephant in the elevator: 

The sudden rise of Tyler Wade - and the fact that he doesn't get hurt. 

I mean... WTF? He's now gone practically four years, and I cannot recall a single tweaked gonad or stubbed wart - nothing that causes him to vanish, as soon as he starts playing well. Because that, my friends, is the modern Yankee way: Get hot, get hurt. 

And it's why some of us remain wary about the 9-game winning streak: 

The Yankees are hot; thus, it's time for the ensuing wave of injuries.  

A nine game streak? Yikes. This could foretell an outfield collision or a mass shooting. Aaron Judge should have his own Iron Dome. Gerrit Cole should move to an underground lair. And that's why Wade is so important. Whomever gets hurt, he can probably replace them. (Fun fact: Rougned Odor would catch in an emergency shortage.) Over the years, Wade has often been jettisoned to Moosic just for the hell of it, so Aaron Boone could keep a bullpen the size of Britney's payroll. 

He was shipped out July 5, then returned four days later, after Michael King squashed a finger between two barbells. Since July 9, Wade has hit .322, played several positions, bunted to break over shifts, and stolen eight bases. For Wade, a single is practically a double. How long has it been since the Yankees had someone in their lineup with such capabilities? And he hasn't gotten hurt.

And here's another weird thing about Wade: He's still here.  

Under modern Yankee protocols, he should have been traded long ago for a fat SS or one-legged DH. Why is he here? Could the Yankees actually be showing patience with a young player? (Wade is only 26.) Have they changed their ways?

OF COURSE NOT. Somehow, Wade fell between the cracks - didn't get traded, hasn't been targeted by the juju gods - and here he is... best player on the team? Go figure.


13bit said...

Has not been targeted by the Juju gods until this entry put a target squarely on his back, esteemed Duque.

Now I tremble in fear. Then again, that's nothing new.

Try getting a small dog to crap in horizontal rain.

Anonymous said...

Why does the Universe hate me? What have I done to deserve this?

I have not gone to a Yankees game in person since a weekend series in Cleveland in 2012.
My son-in-law and daughter are treating us to 3 days in Atlanta as a 40th Anniversary present. He has gotten tremendous seats about 20 rows behind the Yankees dugout.
They are for the TUESDAY game. I get Heaney.
I Get Heaney.
Why Dear Lord? WHY!!!

The loss is all on me guys cuz I tempted the JuJu gods by accepting this present although I vowed to not go to a game until Cashman left

The Perplexed Archangel

JM said...

"Tampa Bay Rays place DH Nelson Cruz on COVID-19 injured list; Chris Archer, Ji-Man Choi leave with injuries"

The Curse of Covid is coming, Tampa. It's not usually one guy, for obvious reasons.

And minor injuries, tweaks, physical's coming.

We have Wade the Impervious, the Invincible, the Immortal. You have pain and roster moves on your horizon.

Four games in the loss column. Just four...

DickAllen said...

Well then: please explain why a guy hitting 322 is still batting ninth? Is it possible Booooooone can’t read?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Maybe Wade has a ninth best launch angle and exit velo? Or… is he the least paid of the batting order? I know in Elementary school we’d some times get lined up girl boy girl boy…

Anonymous said...


Think of it as an opportunity. A win-win (despite the potential loss).

Since you are only 20 rows back, he will hear you. If he pitches great you can heap praise on him and further build up his confidence.

If he pitches poorly we (the collective mind of the IIHIIF) will provide you with, let's call them "bon mots" to hurl at him with greater effectiveness than his pitching repertoire.

You can choose from insults ranging from Winnie's potential, "You pitch like shit. I hope you die in a pool of your own blood infused feces. You Fucker!"

To perhaps something historical from Go-Ho (That's the Ghost of Hoss if hipsters ran the blog - I know I posted that earlier - but I like it) such as:

"Your pitching is similar to Fred Crazy Schmidt who Born in 1866, was one of the pioneers of the game, and his terribleness in the late 19th century has stood the test of time. From 1890-93, his awfulness was minimized due to limited innings, but in 1899, he inexplicably made 19 starts for the Cleveland Spiders, going 2-17 with a 5.86 ERA and just 24 strikeouts compared to 64 walks in 138.1 innings. For his career, he was 7-36 with nearly twice as many walks as strikeouts."

Granted Winnie's "Die you fucker!" would take less time."

When is the game? At a minimum we can come up with Green Acres stuff.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Doug,

your sage advice has made the sojourn with doing.

As I DRIVE THERE I will looking at land spreading out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

Th Farmer formally known as Archangel

Anonymous said...

Wade should have been in the leadoff spot months ago!!!

Anonymous said...

"Worth" doing I MEANT

The Absent-Minded Archangel

Rufus T. Firefly said...

From the interwebs: "The San Diego Padres fired pitching coach Larry Rothschild on Monday" Someone had a quicker hook than Bonehead/CASShman.


My recollection of games in Atlanta is that when the game turns to shit, there is at least some pulchritudinous scenery available in the stands -- most of which know nothing about baseball and have bleach blond pony-tails. Farm raised and corn fed as they say.

Anonymous said...

Quandaries: It's clear that we are all hoping that Gleyber stays on the DL to prolong Velazquez's stint at shortstop. But . . . what about Urshela? If he returns, that's the end of Tyler Wade's sprint to the mountaintop. Frankly, I think that in a rational universe Wade would be playing ahead of Odor--he's better on defense and speed and his hitting is very close--look at their respective OPS's--although Odor has a slight edge, Wade's is much better for the past few weeks. Wade brings the youth and athleticism and elan we all pine for but has been markely lacking from Cashman's pastiche of suggards (and don't credit Cashman/Boone for playing Wade--credit COVID and injuries; Wade has always been good in extended trials but has had precious few with this team). And frankly I find Urshela to be something of an energy suck--he's great on defense, but SLOW, with only sporadic pop at the bat. People like to think that the Yankees' recent run is all about the firm of Rizzo and Gallo, but I think it has as much--or more--to do with the tandem of Velazquez and Wade: subtracting either from the lineup at this point in favor of Urshela and/or Torres would send this power-speed juggernaut into reverse and reinstate the sluggish .500-ish mailing-it-in jalopy of April through June.