With many thanks to AboveAverage for his link to the article in question!
Still have any doubts as to just how oblivious Brian Cashman is?
Check out Dan Martin's NY Post piece today, in which he interviews The Great Brain about how it is that NOBODY in the Yankees' lineup is able to hit besides the late, lamented Judge.
https://nypost.com/2023/06/20/yankees-lineup-is-more-than-aaron-judge-brian-cashman/
"I understand the question," Cashman starts off.
Um, what's that now? I had to go back and look at the lede. Was Dan Martin asking him for an in-depth analysis of climate change, or perhaps how computers translated the recent telescopic discoveries of distant galaxies into all those amazing shapes and colors?
No.
YOU UNDERSTAND THE !#@& QUESTION???
Okay, breathe, breathe.
Then there's this:
"There's nothing in our approach that's causing it. I think over the course of time, there will be a market correction, and then we'll return to our norm."
A market correction. Right, because we're analyzing Wall Street here. And there's nothing in their approach that's causing it? A child could see that there is.
"I'm happy with their commitment. I'm happy with how they prepare and ultimately, I know I'll be happy with the end results. We've got a really good team when we're flying high and playing the way we're capable of, and right now we haven't been doing that, so it looks bad...No one likes losing, so I understand why fans are upset with how it's playing out. There's a long way to go, and we intend to make sure we do what's necessary to where we need to be."
Blather, blather, fumfah, and ramble.
Turns out, Cashman misspoke when he said that he understood the question. The question was, why does your team suck so bad? Why can it never win the whole enchilada?
The answer is, as always: "Oh, you fans!"
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18 comments:
The slogan for the rest of the year should be "We've got Cole and a bunch of Schmidt after that"
Love it!
I think we should also start a chant of, "I understand the question/ I just don't have the answer!"
79 wins and ...
Unwavering positivity.
I remember being very excited when Danny Cater hit .300 and the Yankees finished the season at .500. These were things I didn't realize could happen, not with the Yankees.
A .300 hitter. Wow, that seems like a dream from "Confessions of an Opium Eater." Judge gets hurt and it's unthinkable with the rest of these mooks. (Maybe Rizzo, if he's finally over that whack in the head.)
Of course, the Yankees always have a winning record nowadays. Which the losers in management think is something they should tout as part of their P.R. campaign, meant to convince us that a slightly better than mediocre team is something to be proud of.
We're not.
Unwavering Negativity
(with all doo-doo respect)
Any evidence for this "market correction"?
The core of the lineup is mid-to-late 30s: Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo, DJ LeMahieu, Josh Donaldson. They've all dealt with injuries and performance downturn recently. Why should we expect significant improvement?
Volpe hasn't hit major-league pitching. Oswaldo hasn't either.
Gleyber is who he is at this point. Talented, frustrating. A complementary piece. Not a lineup anchor.
IKF has never been much of a hitter.
Bader still has never played 150 games in a season. Can't stay on the field. And he's a career league-average bat anyway.
We still don't have a left fielder.
Jose Trevino has hit .233/.264/.333 in his last 100 games. That's who he is.
Where is the offensive correction coming from? Or is he just talking about Judge eventually coming off the IL?
That article is another example of "so good, it's bad" unintentionally hilarious newspeak.
Some of it is actually true: "Judge ... seemingly is underpaid even at $40 million this season." Yeah, I think he could've held out for more, maybe 450 mill or even 500 mill over ten years, but he didn't push too far. If he really wanted to win, he might be re-thinking those offers he got from those other California teams. They have a helluva better chance to make the playoffs this year than the Yankees.
Well, at some point, maybe Judge will waive his no-trade clause and ask for a trade to a contender. Ditto with Cole.
"Market correction", was that like a Freudian slip? These guys in ownership & management only care about the money, finances. I think he let slip what he's really thinking.
"There's nothing in their approach that's causing it."
I beg to differ, Brian, you old palindrome of mine. Their approach has sucked for years and years. It's true what some here are saying, that the players suck. But their approach also sucks. So when you take guys who suck and their approach also sucks, what do you get?
General suckiness! to answer Hammer's rhetorical question.
And yeah, I believe that "market correction" remark was really key.
Think what you want about the use of baseball statistics today. I'm something of an agnostic, myself.
But whatever you think, baseball statistics do not apply to market fluctuations, and vice versa. Cashman sounds like a college sophomore who's just read a copy of "Freakonomics," and I'm sure he thinks of himself as some kind of intellectual wizard, who has come to understand some incredible, Grand Unified Theory of statistics.
It doesn't exist. But he lives by it: just wait for the market correction!
Over the winter, they should hire Alec Baldwin as actor/producer and Hannah Gutierrez-Reed as armorer (I hear she's pretty good with firearms safety) and do a tv special western, like the old days.
Aaron Judge can play himself as U.S. Marshal Aaron Judge.
Giancarlo Stanton can play Arch Stanton, a bank robber.
Dillon Lawson can play himself as Sheriff Dillon Lawson.
Alec Baldwin can play the Preacher.
Brian Cashman can play himself as the Bank Manager.
Aaron Boone can play himself as the hapless General Store Manager.
The plot is simple: Arch Stanton robs the bank. Cashman doesn't follow Stanton's orders, and presses an alarm button. Stanton pulls the trigger on his Colt .45, which was loaded with a "blank" by Gutierrez-Reed. Stanton flees with a bag of money, and it's up to Marshal Judge and Sheriff Lawson to put together a posse which includes Boone and Baldwin to bring Stanton to justice for robbery and murder.
Chances are that filming will be stalled when the blank in Stanton's gun turns out to be a real shell. Poor Brian Cashman is dead, for real. Nobody knows who fucked up the blank ammunition or why a live round was on a movie set. Giancarlo Stanton is arrested for manslaughter but later, charges are dropped, and he also wins a lawsuit for false imprisonment. (Not that he needed the money. But he'll donate all of his lawsuit proceeds to the indigent.) Gutierrez-Reed gets off with a slap on the wrist. And everyone goes home happy.
I meant "so bad, it's good" on my unintentionally hilarious newspeak comment above.
Of course, the trick to Cashman's movie death scene is how to switch out that blank shell for a real live one, without anyone knowing. We'd need someone who's good at magic tricks. Whoops, sorry, Freudian slip there, I accidentally revealed what I was really thinking!
Hammer, I think you've got Cashman Derangement Syndrome. I think we all have!!!
Speak for yourself Hoss. My derangement is long standing and of much deeper and wider than merely Cashnuts.
I haven't seen a face like that since the seventies.
This is the photo of an arrogant, inept GM.
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