Wednesday, May 1, 2024

The Albatross

An Albatross is a large , white seabird who lives forever and only occasionally has to flap its wings. 

The Yankee's acquired their own Albatross from Derek Jeter, several years ago. If Jeter were a decent person, he would no longer appear at yankee stadium.

Today, when you describe someone as an Albatross, you mean that they cause you great problems from which you cannot escape.  They prevent you from doing what you want to do.

Giancarlo Stanton is our Albatross.

1.  His contract is weighty and never seems to end. 

2.  He only flaps his wings once in a blue moon, and usually, it makes no difference ( solo homers which travel 480 feet and have an exit velocity faster than a flying bird ).

3.  He kills rallies by striking out at key moments or batting into a double play.

4.  He is cumbersome, awkward and sloth slow.  One day, we will see him thrown out at first on a single to left.

5.  He consumes far too many of the teams' seed supplies. 

6. He can't play a position.  

7.  It is demoralizing to watch him come to bat, when you know he will soon return ( bat in hand, eyes  watching the clouds )to the dugout.  Not advancing a runner. Not making a productive out. In fact, if there is a man on first, it is best if he strikes out.  That still leaves the runner on first. 

8.  His presence is an embarrassment to Boone.  Normally, when a player fails to produce, and offers little value or flexibility, he is cut, traded or demoted for further seasoning. Boone cannot do that with Stanton.  In fact, he has to pencil him him to the middle of the lineup even after a goolden sombrero the previous day.  So Boone only manages 8 players.  

9.  Worse, Boone has to make "baseball talk excuses) to justify Stanton's continuing failures and deterioration (e.g " I think he put a pretty good swing on that.  He just missed it.").

10 and now, he is ruining the hitting of teammates. When he was thrown out at second on Wells' single to right field, Wells lost the base hit on his record. The Yankees can't score runs as it is;  We can't have hits turned into outs. 

The Yankees will win nothing as long as Stanton is a regular in the line-up or on the bench.  We can only prayer an  injury, because Hal will not allow himself to be pubically undressed.  

Stanton will play forever.  We are weighed down forever. 

25 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, Alphonso! Though I can't blame Jeter—especially after Cashman turned his "steal" of Stanton into an entire book in which he gloated over the deal.

Incredible that we are still stuck with this ridiculous excuse of a GM—and with Stanton!

DickAllen said...

Once upon a time we had Joey Gallo who was so bad we didn’t notice the stench of Giancarlo.

Now that Gallo has joined the PGA along with Barren Hicks, Giancarlo is the drunken uncle you hate to invite to Thanksgiving dinner.

The only positivity he brings to the team is that he will never have to worry about these fragile uniforms ripping on him - he never gets them dirty.

HoraceClarke66 said...

He's getting so slow that I'm thinking someday he might go straight out Tin Man on us. You know, just stop dead in the base paths, unable to move or even say anything except a squeaky whisper of, "Oil...me."

I vote we don't.


AboveAverage said...

Celine Dion is faster on the base paths that Stanton - and THAT'S saying something

The Hammer of God said...

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the curse goes on and on and on....

(Thanks go to Iron Maiden, who thanked Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Complete with musical accompaniment of eerie, deathly sounding triads and spooky creaking boards, along with Ba-Boone umming, ahemming, and ahhing.)

One after one, by the star dogged moon
Too quick for groan or sigh
Giancarlo turned his face with a ghastly pang
And cursed me with his eye

A zombie apocalypse of living men
(And I heard nor sigh nor groan)
With heavy thump, a lifeless lump
They made out, one by one....

JM said...

Oz!!!!!

JM said...

Alphonso, you are correct in every detail of your Stanton critique.

Pocono Steve said...

They're up by two, Gil is pitching a clinic, and yet the hopeless offense makes it feel like they're losing.

JM said...

As the bullpen sinks slowly in the East....

Doug K. said...

This won't end well.

Doug K. said...

Gleyber! Damn he bites.

Pocono Steve said...

Woo hoo!

Doug K. said...

OK I was wrong.

JM said...

We won?

ranger_lp said...

Yankees win…

AboveAverage said...

What did the Yankees win?

Pocono Steve said...

I'm shocked that Boone had Holmes pitch a five-out save.

Kevin said...

Reading the posts above, a song popped into my head which I thought to be apropo. I just HAD to look up the lyrics to confirm the connection to Stanton. I believe that it's there.
You guys all know this song. Here is an interpretation from a website by Dwight Wells:


The Fall from Glory
The opening lines of the song, “Conquistador your stallion stands, in need of company, and like some angel’s haloed brow, you reek of purity,” set the tone for the melancholic journey that follows. The conqueror, symbolized by the stallion, is now alone and in need of companionship. The reference to purity suggests that the conquistador was once motivated by noble ambitions, but those ideals have faded over time.

The song continues, “I see your armour-plated breast, has long since lost its sheen, and in your death mask face, there are no signs which can be seen.” These lines highlight the decay and deterioration of the conqueror’s physical appearance. The once-shining armor is now tarnished, and the conquistador’s face bears a death-like expression, devoid of emotion or signs of life. This imagery reinforces the idea that time has taken its toll on the protagonist.

The Emptiness of Achievement
The chorus of the song reflects the conquistador’s disillusionment and his search for meaning in his conquests. It goes, “And though I hoped for something to find, I could see no maze to unwind.” Despite his hopes, the protagonist realizes that his victories were ultimately hollow. The metaphor of a maze suggests a complex puzzle that needs to be solved, but the conquistador cannot find anything of substance to unravel.

Further in the song, it continues, “Conquistador there is no time, I must pay my respect, and though I came to jeer at you, I leave now with regret.” These lines potentially represent a shift in perspective, where the singer acknowledges the fallen conqueror’s humanity and pays respect to his legacy. Instead of mocking or criticizing, there is a sense of empathy and understanding.

JM said...

Procol Harum lives.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

No such empathy for the Glassman.

Kevin said...

The Glassman was once great. The ravages of oxidative stress have simply caught up to him. Shame. But Jeter didn't know it at the time. And I can remember feeling hostility towards both Jeter and Cashman when The Captain got old. He didn't exit gracefully as befitting someone of his career and dignity. He sure as hell didn't say, 'Oh shucks Hal, I'm not earning my money. I'll just retire and you keep the cash". Nope. And I wouldn't have done it either.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Maybe it's just perception, but Glassman looks like he doesn't care and doesn't try to conceal that he doesn't care.

At least Jeter cared to win.

And we have 3 1/2 more years of looking at Glassman not caring.

Kevin said...

Rufus, you could be right, only The Shadow knows for sure.😨

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love "Conquistador." Love "A Whiter Shade of Pale," too.

As for Stanton...no, I can't say I would pass up that remaining $86 mill. But it's more of the continuing nonsense: the Yanks are always concerned about the bottom line—and they go grab up a contract like that.

Pocono Steve said...

"Kaleidoscope" is a "banger" (as the kids might say), too!

Regarding Stanton, I always think back to the disbelief we experienced when he was first brought on. Coming out of that deflating ALCS against the cheating Astros, it was obvious the Yanks needed more starting pitching, and they go and sign what seemed like a redundant (if only!) outfielder.