Friday, May 10, 2024

Top 10 depressing takeaways from yesterday's loss, ranked

1. We lost.

2. Zone of Death (in yellow) returned. Yeah, Judge homered (and hit a GIDP), but you felt the air hissing out as soon as Verdugo (also a GIDP) stepped in. 

3. Re: Verdugo (.208 over the week.) Could it be fatherhood? The first week, nobody sleeps. Hope he's not trying to breastfeed.

4. Over last 6 games, Gleyber is 4-20 (.200.) The mini-emergence - which prompted the usual YES assurances - may have ended. In his 7th MLB season, he still throws to the wrong base and runs us out of innings. Of all Yanks hitting their walk years, Gleyber looked like the one most likely to elevate his game. Starting to wonder. LeMahieu will eventually return, and the question is not when, but where?   

5. Volpe quietly angling for "Most Improved Yankee" award, which does not exist. Wondering about his ceiling - .260 and 20 HRs? Whatever he hits, his 2023 Gold Glove - (rightful or not) - provides slack. He's the Yankee SS, the infield anchor, the leadoff hitter. Someday, the long lost ghost of Wilkes Barre, Oswald Peraza, will start rehabbing. He will be auditioning to be traded. 

6. Stanton with 4 Ks last night, each one a steel-toed kick to the Planters. He fans 4 out of every 10 at bats and has 4 GIDPs this year. (Captain Judge - aka "Stormy" - has 11.) 

Stanton has one glorious but meaningless stat: Exit Velo, a sham number, worthy of tobacco company news releases. If MLB ever establishes a three-point line - balls over 450 feet count more - Exit Velo might matter.

7. If Gerrit Cole falters - (and until he's back, he's not back) - Luke Weaver could maybe save the rotation. He looks like this year's Michael King (FYI: 3-3, 4.29 ERA in San Diego.) He's the guy in the bullpen with the arsenal of a starter. Don't wanna jinx him. But right now, when Weaver comes in, I can go make a sandwich, knowing he's in control.

8. Tonight, Death Barge visits Tampa, where hatred for the Yankees is matched only by contempt for school teachers. The domed stadium's sound effects cacophony will be in overdrive. John Sterling used to loathe these games. You could feel his teeth clenching. Now, Suzyn must face the migraines alone. There's nothing like games played in a ping pong ball. And hostilities will rival Drake v Kendrick Lamar. 

9. Oswaldo on mini-streak (4-14 over last 7 games), average holding at .256. Here's a weird stat: He's hitting higher against lefties (.273), even though he can't figure out which side of the plate to stand on. What he's giving though, is defense. When LeMahieu returns - nobody knows when - Oswaldo should still get playing time. 

10. My bad: Yesterday, in advance of the Houston finale, I should not have posted the Ryan McBroom icon. Damn. I knew better. I... just... got... greedy. I could taste that sweep! I HELD IT IN MY HANDS...

Remember the First Rule of Juju:

Nothing good ever comes from being optimistic.  

20 comments:

13bit said...

11. I'll be a Yankee fan till the day I die. That is potentially depressing, considering that Hal is younger than I am and he'll never sell.
12. Boone is still manager. That's super depressing.
13. Brian still thinks he's a genius. That's depressing and sadly humorous at the same time.
14. My penis remains intact. Do I still even need it?
15. I need to lose some weight. That's depressing.

Maybe we need to make some GRATITUDE LISTS around this joint?

Doug K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug K. said...

13 -

1) I am grateful that the other contributors on this blog do my complaining for me.

2) I too need to lose some weight but I am grateful that I have so many food choices that I have this problem.

3) I am grateful that the Knicks and the Rangers have been so enjoyable to watch and that the Yankees, as much as they suck, are actually pretty good.

4) I am grateful that the NY Post had a picture of a few Yankees attending the Knicks game the other day and that one of them was Gleyber AND HE WAS WEARING GLASSES proving that HE SHOULD BE WEARING GLASSES!

Last...

5) I am grateful for this community and the opportunity to crack wise at least once a day, keeping my brain from atrophying, as I attempt to find new ways of saying the same thing. (See #4)

JM said...

I need to lose weight also. Not a surprise for most guys in their Soc Sec years. It's been coming off very, very, very slowly (step by step...inch by inch...), and the holidays didn't do that any favors. But there's 15 to 18 pounds less of me after six months.

All I need to do is drop another 15. Argh.

It's a vain and silly goal, but I would like to see what life is like if I weighed what I did in my mid-20s. Is that too much to ask? Is it, Mr. Stern (who makes a mean cinnamon babka)? Is it Old Overholt, old buddy? How about you, Mr. Ketel?

And I'm not even asking Mr. Roasted Brussel Sprouts and Garlic with Lots of Olive Oil and Parmesan and Egg Noodles. You, I don't talk to anymore.

P.S. Please get a third baseman and move the kid to second and trade Gleyber. Thank you.

AboveAverage said...

I agree with everything.

100%

Lock
Step
and
Feral

edb said...

For exit velo to mean something, Stanton needs to pout the ball in play. 49 ZK's and a .220 batting Average. They us their geek stats all they want.

Jaraxle said...

Weaver looks really good coming out of the bullpen where batters only get to see him once. As a starter he’s not making it past the fourth inning

The Hammer of God said...

That was all Stroman's doing yesterday. Three freaking runs in the 1st inning made the batters anxious. They'd probably have scored more if not for that. Stroman is doing pretty much what I'd thought he'd be doing: maybe not getting his butt handed to him, hanging in there most of the time, but still not good enough to give his team a chance to win.

The Hammer of God said...

@ Doug K., So Gleyber wears glasses, eh? Not surprised, we've seen him squinting before. Maybe during the games he's supposed to be wearing contacts. But maybe he doesn't wear 'em, right? That would be Gleyber being Gleyber. Maybe he should just get LASIK surgery like Bernie Williams. You get 20/20 vision and never have to worry about carrying your glasses around or getting those contact lenses dried out and stuck to your eyeballs if you fall asleep.

JM said...

Can laser surgery still leave you with nighttime vision? Penumbras around lights and such? Or is that from the old days?

AboveAverage said...

some say yes

The Hammer of God said...

You get a little bit of circles around lights. That's one of the side effects. For most patients, it's not severe.

Certainly beats having to tote glasses or having them fog up in the rain. Getting hit by a ball (or a fist) whilst wearing eyeglasses is no fun. (You could go blind.) Also beats falling down the stairs because you left your glasses at home. Or getting an eye infection from those horrible contact lenses. (Again, you could go blind.) Or not being able to wear sunglasses because you're already wearing eyeglasses. (Once again, you could go blind. Not right now, but when you develop cataracts at age 60 from too much sun.) And it certainly beats gettin' booed out of Da Bronx because you can't hit for shit, Gleyber Torres!

BTR999 said...

Burdi’s back, Marinaccio sent back down.

Curiously, The Gulf of Tonkin incident is still ongoing. I suppose he’ll get shitcanned once Kahnle is ready; he still needs some time to shrink his pantolones

ranger_lp said...

Kahnle is almost ready to come back. Had a good outing with the Tampons yesterday...

JM said...

Hammer, as a young man I was told of another way you can go blind. Perhaps that's Gleyber's problem.

Me, I'll stick to glasses. The lenses turn dark very fast in the sun, and I just don't want anyone to mess with my eyes. My wife feels the same. Might be silly, but there you go.

AboveAverage said...

gleyber - - - - just in case you're looking for advice - - - - here you go:

https://youtu.be/qXaGPc_vFSg?si=oR0xvNuEcmLeYvG5

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I have only one good eye. The other has issues not related to refraction. I will never risk lasix unless I have no other options.

I asked for a second opinion and they told I'm also fatter than I should be.

I am grateful for the huckleberries here. I am grateful that I saw Jerry Garcia a handful of times be he stopped composing. I am grateful that my wife *really* is insane and keeps me around. I am grateful that sashimi is not really fattening, even though sake is. I am grateful to LBJ for suggesting the meetup watering hole. I am grateful that bitty and LBJ do the heavy lifting and arrange to get us together.

13bit said...

before Jerry stopped composing and started composting...

just saying, let's enjoy the ride while we can.

I need to contact LBJ, the moving force behind "Moon Big Papi" day...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

We're going to hell in a bucket, but at least we're enjoying the ride.

Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Sometimes the songs that we hear are just songs of our own

Ok, I'll stop now.