Zeroes.

After all the heroics of last night's exercise in fan torture—and it should be noted that Steve Cohen bit the bullet and gave Mets fans a pair of games in the sunshine, complete with refunds (I know, I know: Uncle Stevie has more money than Hal. But then his family didn't get two subsidized stadiums from the city. And Steve Cohen earned his moolah the old-fashioned way: he stole it, fair and square.)—what remained was still a couple of chilling statistics.

After 10 games and some 184 plate appearances, over 55 percent of the Yanks' starting lineup—the Big Five, Trent Grisham, Jazz Chisholm, Austin Wells, José Caballero, and Ryan McMahon—still does not have a single home run. 

Nada. None. Zippo. Zero.

This should not be a surprise. Ryan McMahon, for instance, has played almost his entire career in Colorado, and is lifetime, .259/.810 hitter with 90 homers at home...and .215/.659 on the road. What?

Trent Grisham, before his 34 homers and less-than-HOF .235 last year, never hit more than 17 homers in a season, and batted beneath the Mendoza Line 3 times in 6 years. Jazzy is a lifetime .247 hitter who strikes out more than once a game. Who knew? 

Somehow, Brian Cashman could not anticipate any of what they are doing this season.

Meanwhile, over in Queens, the Borough of Mercy, the Metsies hung up another significant zero:  Luke Weaver and Devin Williams still have not surrendered a single run, in a combined 10 games and as many innings, while running up 2 saves, 1 hold, 1 win, and zero—that number again is, zero—losses.

Mets starter Clay Holmes, it must be said, has surrendered all of 2 earned runs this season, leaving his record at 2-0, 1.42.

Hey, I can't truly say that I miss Williams or Holmes, at least. But all three of these arms would certainly bolster our already teetering, No-Name Bullpen. 

And then there is the other big zero in the story: what the Yankees got back for them. You guessed it.

Nichts. Rien. A whole lotta nothin'. Not even a magic bean or two.

This is how Hal & Pal's Yankees operate. Acquisitions made on the basis of flawed or ignorant analyses, followed by simply letting the players in question walk off the team.

But hey, at least Volpe isn't going anywhere!