Saturday, October 24, 2026

If I Keep This Up I’ll Go Blind

Today I sat down to write my annual post on what the team should do next year. Standard stuff like don’t spend to acquire starting pitching, build the bullpen, get the Japanese free agent 3B, don’t give Jazz the Qualifying Offer… Things like that.

Then I had to stop. 

Because it’s all just jerking off...  And we are the jerks.

Sports fans are a curious blend of optimism and pessimism. Always hopeful that a few tweaks to the lineup, a couple of key additions, fewer injuries, and having the vagaries that make up a season break our way could make the difference and bring us the title.

Here at IIH IIF we tend to be more pessimistic that most but only because we’re a fairly well thought out bunch. 

Most of us, as reflected in the comments, are reaching a tipping point in our fandom. 

As long, long, time Yankee fans we have both suffered and been rewarded. That’s the natural course of rooting. 

This offseason the current state of the team feels different.

Ownership has broken the sacred trust that is the cornerstone of the relationship. We have to believe that the team is trying to win it all.

They aren’t. 

What’s worse is…

We know that we are being played.

And they are not trying to hide it.

We live in a time frame where powerful people seem to feel that they can say things that are demonstrably untrue and expect us to eat it. No accountability.  

Just Hubris.

Giving Brian Cashman another five years when he has proven to be inept is unconscionable. He is inept. All GMs make mistakes. That’s to be expected. To keep making the same ones? Inept.

Blaming the players and only the players for their failure and not the guy who spent over $300 million dollars acquiring them?  

Not firing Aaron Boone?

--

There is a point in life where you realize that what you want to happen and what is going to happen are two completely different things.

Extending Cashman was it for me.

I believe the phrase is, "irreconcilable differences".

Fan is short for fanatic. It’s also part of the word fantasy. I’m through fantasizing that the Yankees will figure it out. They won't and any time that I spend thinking about how it could be or might be is just jerking off.

Maybe it feels good short term, but in the end it's a waste of energy that would be better spent elsewhere.  

And, if I keep it up, I’ll go blind.


16 comments:

The Hammer of God said...

Ain't gone blind yet! Hey, it's tough when you've got a rhino horn trying to explode out of your fly. You either relieve yourself or walk around all day with a hard on.

The Hammer of God said...

Here come the jet stars
One two three
It's all part of my fantasy

It's all part of my rock n roll fantasy
It's all part of my rock n roll dream

The Hammer of God said...

I got the "Spinal Tap" sequel movie coming to me on dvd soon. Will let you guys know what I think of it. I've heard it's definitely not as funny, but more introspective.

Somebody should do an unauthorized Yankee mockumentary, along the same lines as the Spinal Tap stuff. The clown show here deserves full cinematic treatment.

The Hammer of God said...

BTW, whilst we're on the subject, ever seen the movie "The Animal" with Colleen Haskell? That wench was one of the hottest I've ever seen. There is a date scene where that guy (I forget his name) has to run to the bathroom every few minutes to blow off steam. Ever been with a date so hot that your life depended on running to the bathroom to jerk off? Been there, done that!

Also a scene with the guy humping a U.S. Post Office mail box. Yeah, been there, done that too!

This movie was a box office bomb, but it kind of felt like the Spinal Tap movie. Yeah, funny, sure, but at times, it was too real, too close to the truth!

Doug K. said...

I'm pretty sure I was using a metaphor. But you be you.

The Hammer of God said...

We should do a poll here about who is the hottest actress ever captured on film. The two that immediately come to mind:

Gene Wilder did a movie, "The Woman in Red" with Kelly LeBrock. He sure knew how to pick 'em, eh? She was also super hot in "Weird Science". And then there's Colleen Haskell in "The Animal". As amazing as LeBrock was, I think I'd have to go with Colleen Haskell. Down to earth, girl next door vibe, but super hot. And she's an animal! That seals it!

The Hammer of God said...

Hell, you should see her eyes in the dark! If that don't get you up, nothing will!

edb said...

You mentioned inept twice concerning Genius Cashman. You ommitted buffoon, pompous, arrogant, loser. I could go on and on.

The Hammer of God said...

Don't despair, Doug. I'm gettin' there, I'm gettin' there. All this jerking ain't for nothin'.

The Hammer of God said...

'Extending Cashman was it for me.

I believe the phrase is, "irreconcilable differences"'

Yeah, there comes a time when their paths and our paths must diverge. They're going their way and we must go our way. When they're no longer trying to win, that's the last straw.

The Hammer of God said...

So here's Guns n Roses:

I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her
She's buried right in my backyard

I used to love her, but I had to kill her
She bitched so much, she drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this way

The Hammer of God said...

And an old blues tune by Pat Hare:

Good morning, Judge

And your jury too

I've got a few things that I'd like to

Say to you 



I'm gonna murder my baby

Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby

Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby

Don't do nothin' but cheat and lie

Yes, she left home in the mornin'

She didn't get back 'til night

She swears before her maker

That she's treatin' me right

I'm gonna murder my baby

Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby

Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby

Don't do nothin' but cheat and lie

The Hammer of God said...

Robert Johnson, with 32-20 Blues:

If I send for my baby, and she don't come
If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
All the doctors in Hot Springs sure can't help her none

And if she gets unruly, thinks she don't wan' do
And if she gets unruly and thinks she don't wan' do
Take my 32-20, now, and cut her half in two

She got a .38 special but I believe it's most too light
She got a .38 special but I believe it's most too light
I got a 32-20, got to make the caps alright

If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
All the doctors in Hot Springs sure can't help her none

I'm gonna shoot my pistol, gonna shoot my gatling gun
I'm gonna shoot my pistol, gotta shoot my gatling gun
You made me love you, now your man have come

The Hammer of God said...

Another Robert Johnson, "Me and the Devil Blues":

Early this mornin'
You knocked upon my door
Early this mornin'
Ooh, you knocked upon my door

And I said, "Hello, Satan, I believe it's time to go"
Me and the Devil, were walkin' side by side
Me and the Devil, were walkin' side by side

And I'm goin' to beat my woman
Until I get satisfied

The Hammer of God said...

Yeah, irreconcilable differences, all right! Those blues guitar players of old knew how to handle it right.

Like I said, maybe we can do a mockumentary of the current Yankee management. It'll be funny as hell. But also true enough to make you wanna cry. Clown show here deserves it!

HoraceClarke66 said...

To quote Woody Allen, "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."