Thursday, March 6, 2008

Yankeetorial: What the Frick!?!

Well, another year of Hall of Fame announcements, another year of disappointment.

You get set for the big announcement, knowing that this must be the year ... they can't be snubbed again ... it has to be ...

And then the announcement comes. And the Ford C. Frick Award, the broadcasters' equivalent of Hall of Fame induction, goes to ...

Some guy from Seattle, for chrissakes. The legendary whatshisname.

Once again, John Sterling and Susyn Waldman are on the outside looking in.

It's been a hellish offseason for Yankee fans. Rudy deserts us. The Redsocks are Wor ... I can't even say it. Joe leaves for the Dodgers and takes Donnie Baseball with him. Stubby won't shut up. Brian MacNamee crawls out from under his rock. Knobby on the lam. Andy used HGH. With war raging across the world, Congress decides to ignore it and, instead, give us hours of nationally televised discussion of Roger Clemens' ass.

This was the year it had to happen. In an offseason of constant darkness, Yankee fans needed their first ray of sunshine (well, except for Johnny Damon's hot wife posing for SI.)

But no, this year reality slammed into us like a fastball heading toward Kevin Youkilis. I mean Seattle, for chrissakes? Granted, we all can can recall Dave Niehaus' memorable World Series call ...

Oh, wait, he's never called a World Series.

He's from Seattle, for chrissakes.

By now, it should be obvious why John and Susyn aren't both in the Hall of Fame.

It's easy to blame the anti-Yankee bias, and true, that's part of it. (Don't believe there's a bias? Go look at Don Mattingly's and Kirby Puckett's career stats and tell us why one was a first-ballot lock and one's vote totals are floundering below Mark McSteroid)

No, John and Susyn rise so much above their contemporaries that they should overcome the bias. So why can't they get in?

It's obvious. They're splitting the vote.

I mean, it's an impossible choice. The keen, no-gimmicks insight and rapier-like wit of John Sterling vs. the smooth-as-velvet voice and intellectual analysis of Susyn Waldman. How can voters choose between the two?

The simple truth is this: Few do - and some vote for John, some for Susyn. The vast majority, though, can agonize over the choice for just so long before they finally give up in frustration and vote for someone else. Like some guy from Seattle, for chrissakes.

Well, it's time to face the facts. As much as John and Susyn deserve to go into the hall together like Whitey and Mickey, it ain't happening. So, something drastic is going to have to be done.

One of the two is going to have to remove their name from consideration.

It's not fair, I know. They're a team. They go together like peanut butter and jelly; like malaria and mosquitoes; like Dick Cheney and wounded hunting partners.

As much as it hurts, one of them is going to have to pull a Mitt Romney and take one for the team. Stand up one day and say on the air that "I am not seeking, nor would I accept, the Ford C. Frick Award this year."

It would be hard. But it would be heroic. With one of the two out of the running, the other would be a shoe-in. Heck, it might even be unanimous (unless, of course, Gammons gets to vote).

Then, the next year, whomever stepped aside would get their Frick Award in a landslide. And John and Susyn would be together again where they belong. In the Hall of Fame.

Please, John and Susyn, do the right thing. One of you must withdraw from consideration, just for one year. If not for yourselves, then do it for us Yankee fans.

We don't want to have to listen to this next year:

"We at the Hall of Fame are proud to announce the winner of this year's Ford C. Frick award, from the Tampa Bay Rays ... "

4 comments:

Wailin' Suzyn said...

Dude, you forgot to make some of the words REALLY BIG and in red. See el duque for instructions.

Anonymous said...

It's clearly a case of anti-Semitism.

Anonymous said...

hey man don't play with my head like this. i thought maybe we had signed dh Robert Fick.

Stang said...

Lay off Dave Niehaus. I mean it.