Lower Ticket Prices? What are we, the New York Yankees, driven by Cheap?

What's with this lowering of ticket prices?

Adam Smith would tell you that we're playing with fire. If we lower ticket prices, we can't afford pitchers. If we can't afford pitchers, we won't have people come to games. If nobody comes to games, we have to trade Derek Jeter.

What are thinking, lowering ticket prices.

We should be holding out, dammit. Does Scott Boras lower his demands to the Kansas City Royals? Hell, no. He says, pay up, you bastards. You want Aaron Small? Kiss the monkey!

And that's what we should be telling fans:

Listen, you poormouth, penny-pinching eany-weanies... you want quality baseball, dig a little deeper. Sell the jetski. Cancel the subscription to TV Guide. Don't give away your bottle deposits to the PTA. Buck up. We're in a pennant race. That means sacrifice. Do you think you grandparents cried when Yankee ticket prices rose because the team purchased Babe Ruth? Hell, no. They planted Victory Gardens. They recycled metal. They did what they had to do.

Now, we're being asked to give a little money for the team, for the tradition, for the future... and what do we hear: Crybabies. We're crying like Pittsburgh Pirate fans. Look at yourselves in the mirror, goddammat. If you want cheap seats, watch the Charleston Riverdogs. These are the Yankees, the most expensive baseball team on the face of the earth. Pay the money or get out.