The heirborn virus attacks young and middle-aged male athletes, causing their bats to shrivel and their arms to fall off.
Yankee fans should be wary of attending games or even watching on television.
If you are infected by the dreaded Stein flu virus, all the money in the world cannot help.
Symptoms:
Bat .100 with runners in scoring position.
Face breaks out in painful blue pinstripes.
Nagging injuries that do not heal.
Spouse leaves you.
Personal trainer accuses you of juicing.
Fourth place, behind Baltimore.
Cure:
Death
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