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Monday, April 20, 2009

Why so many ads about E.D. during Yank games?

From Jeffrey Goldberg of the Atlantic.

Erectile Dysfunction and the Yankees

20 Apr 2009 08:47 am

So I'm watching the Yankees play Cleveland yesterday (it was definitely fan interference on that Posada home run, in my humble opinion), and I leave the room for a minute, at a commercial.

When I come back, my eight-year-old son asks, "What's E.D.?"E.D., huh? Why do you want to know? He tells me he just saw a commercial for Niagara that promises help with E.D. "Niagara" gives me a way out: "E.D.," I explain, "is.... Earth Dissection. Waterfalls like Niagara are signs of geological dissection. The river is just going along and all of a sudden it drops over a cliff, like there was a sudden dissection of the earth."

"That's not what it is," he says, but the game starts up and I duck the subject for a while, until the next commercial break, which features a commercial for Levitra. Unbelievable. Does Broken-Johnson Syndrome afflict all Yankees' fans, or just most? I'm a pretty diehard Yankees supporter, but if this is the ultimate price, I would even pull for Boston. (Sorry about that one.)

Advertisers surely know their audiences, but is it really necessary during a day game to be assaulted by these commercials?


TO MR. GOLDBERG,

Capitalism is not pretty. Neither is the Yankee bullpen.

To answer your naive question simply: Yes, goddammot, we need those 30-second stiffy-pill commercials.

Next time your son what E.D. stands for, say:

"E.D. stands for Extra Defense, which is what the Yanks bought last winter in the form of Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett. The money that come from E.D. helps summon the blood of currency to Yankee bats. That's why we can afford a brand new spanking stadium and have the 174th Fighter Squadron from Syracuse fly overhead.

"Now, go play, and later I'll tell you about the giant condom that the Tampa Bay Rays play their games inside."

1 comment:

Gringo Starr said...

What bugs me is that those guys are getting more action that me. And I can still get it up! wtf!