Maybe it's the dying newspaper, maybe it's the economy, maybe it's the French perfume worn by Redsock owner John Henry's wife, Buffy the Vampire Marrier, but Boston superwag Dan Shaughnessy -- aka the male version of Maureen Dowd -- has finally learned to put on a tight sweater, climb onto the dugout roof and lead the hometown cheers.
In today's Globule, he lays out the surest proof to date that 30 years of drinking can pickle judgement, if not the judge. His column, in four words:
The Redsocks weren't trying.
Nope. Too smart. They outwitted us. Again. Ha ha. So there.
Says the bard of Daniel Bard:
"The Yankees are going wall to wall to clinch the division (magic number 1) and the best record in the American League, ASAP.
"The Red Sox, meanwhile, are using these final days to get some rest and tune up for the playoffs.
"The Red Sox, meanwhile, are using these final days to get some rest and tune up for the playoffs.
"The Sox are going to win the wild card. They are not going to challenge the Yankees for home-field advantage. Let Girardi wear his guys out. The Sox are getting ready for the playoffs. Call it Tito’s rope-a-dope."
He's right about one thing. Tito sure has found a dope.
Listen: Here were the Yanks yesterday, sitting Jorge and throwing pitchers on extra days' rest, awakening from a two-week sleepwalk. During that period, Boston surged the troops in Iraq, slapping around the O's as if they were St. Mary School for Quadroplegics, and shouting that -- hell, there could be an AL East pennant race after all! Yep, they only needed a sweep in New York! Then we'd see.
Well, that's one tent that folded. Shaughny's been a great columnist, and a guy can have an off-day. But when Shaughn of the Dead opens a bottle, by this stage, he should be able to tell the difference between whiskey and drivel.
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2 comments:
These flashes of rationality show that there's still a few functioning brain cells left in that addled mind of yours, Dyke.
Oh, geez, this is dumb. As you said, a week ago the talk was all "YEAHHHH WE'RE GONNA SWEEP THE YANKEES AND WIN THE DIVISION THEY ARE SUCH CHOKERS!!!!" And then, when in fact, they're the ones that fall apart (the Royals stopped their momentum, of all teams!), they TOTALLY PLANNED IT ALL ALONG U GUYZ.
And also, yeah, pushing Dice-K to 110+ pitches after he recently came off the DL instead of bringing in a reliever, while we let CC rest when he could have easily pitched another inning, maybe two, is clearly letting your players rest.
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