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Thursday, April 8, 2010

The truth about Big Papi: Hideous, Obese Ranting Potty Mouth

The other night, Big Papi tore off his happy face mask and revealed his evil true self by doing an Andrew Dice Tarantino hissyfit on the media.  Says AP:

After Boston lost 6-4 Tuesday night, Ortiz initially declined to talk with reporters. He then reacted to a question about his poor start. "What's up with that, man?" he said. In an expletive-filled tirade, the slugger said there were still 160 games left.
 
Comrades, the truth always hurts: Mickey Mouse is a rat, Eliot Spitzer is a dick, and Pamela Anderson's Buick-sized breasts are filled with shredded phone books. Two years ago, David Ortiz was a Disney theme park animation. These days, he's Lindsay Lohan in a Mothra suit.   

LIVING SYMBOLS OF HAPPINESS AND LOVE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CALL REPORTERS "ASS-SHIT, BOOTCOCK, DICKFART, NOOGIE-FUCKERS."

The Curse of the Bambino is over. Now, it's the Curse of Big Papi.

2 comments:

Joe DePastry said...

Speaking of bad starts, maybe Tex should play a simulated April schedule in March next year.

GWC3 said...

Geez. I that guy shouldn't have buried an Ortiz jersey in the new stadium. Looks like that ended up being a reverse-curse or some such nonsense.