Ten Reasons Why Manny Ramirez Belongs in the Hall of Fame

1. For Redsock greats, it's first step to having head chopped off and frozen.

2. Special class with Palmero, Bonds and Big Papi.

3. Will be able to charge more for used gas grills on eBay.

4. Would take pee break during induction speech.

5. Points for screwing Tampa.

6. Was once traded for Jason Bay!

7. Still not allowed in parts of Boston.

8. Cooperstown bars can use late night ladykiller.

9. Who cares? The Hall is a sham anyway without Roger Maris* being in.

10. The fukker could hit.

*By the way, this should be our 2011 campaign theme.