Today's defensive alignment is sponsored by Black Bear premium franks and sausages, available exclusively at ShopRite.
At a partially attended press conference on Monday night, Harold Camping announced that the correct date for the end of the world is actually October 21.Mr. Camping said that when his May 21 prediction turned out to be inaccurate, he spent the next 48 hours re-reading the entire Bible in an effort to determine what had gone wrong.What he discovered was that two pages of the Bible he was using had been stuck together, causing him to overlook a section of the Book of Moron, the least of the lesser Israelite prophets.Those pages happen to be the ones describing the time when God had the world spin backwards for two and one-half months to demonstrate his superiority to Satan.Therefore, Mr. Camping explained, his calculation of the date of the Apocalypse was five months off. When confused reporters asked him to clarify, Mr. Camping explained that adding the two and one-half months of forward time that did not occur to the two and one-half months of backward time that happened instead equals the five-month difference between his previous calculation and the corrected one. So the world will end five months later, on October 21, 2011 instead of on May 21, 2011.When a reporter who had brought a Bible to the press conference with her told Mr. Camping that its index did not refer to a Book of Moron, he advised her to check the version he used, which he referred to as the RIIV, in which the Book of Moron follows the Book of Levitations. An aide to Mr. Camping later explained to reporters that RIIV stands for Revised Indisputable Imaginary Version.
I think Bernie Madoff is quoting from another Book of Moron if he expects us to believe in his account of events in the New Yorker article
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