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Saturday, May 28, 2011

YANKEETORIAL: It's almost time for the annual Yankee Summer Giveaway, so let's look back at last year's sweet deal: Berkman for Melancon

After last night's loss -- which was ten losses combined into one -- we can hear the distant chorus of manic writers screaming for Cashman to make a trade. Exchange some prospects for a mini-van with 200,000 miles on it. Cash for Clunkers. We do it every year, like junkies clamoring for a fix. We pull off the deal and congratulate ourselves.

Let's look at last summer's big deal: The Tri-Fecta of Crap... Mark Melancon to Houston for Lance "Fat Elvis" Berkman.

A former top Yankee prospect, Melancon was barely out the door when the courtier sports press announced that he had no future with the Yankees, because of the glut of young arms in the system. And getting was impressive! The man was an Astros icon, (which is not a good thing to be.)

What happened? The Yankee Tri-Fecta of Crap.

1. Berkman did nothing for us. He botched a few ground balls, became a fulltime DH, then pulled a groiny and missed two weeks. He returned and hit a few warning track flies, which the YES team assured us meant his bat was coming around! He hit one HR in the regular season. He hit one in the post, against Minnesota. He made no difference. Nothing. Nada. If we had tried Jesus Montero or Greg Golson, we could hardly have done worse. COMPLETE DISASTER.

2. Melancon, 26, is now closing for Houston. He has earned the job. His ERA is 1.85, he's 4-1, and nobody's hit a HR off him this year. He has mid-90s stuff. They love him. (He pitched well for them last year, too.) Meanwhile, we're panning the scrap piles for bullpen help. Ayala? Pendleton? Anybody? COMPLETE DISASTER.

3. And now, Berkman is hitting again. Of course! We knew this would happen, right? He's gone home to the NL, and he's hitting .350, 11 HRs. All those hits he didn't get for us? He's getting them for St. Louis. And we didn't even get a draft pick for him. COMPLETE DISASTER.

So now the chorus begins. Vladimir Guerrero could be a Yankee! Or maybe Carlos Beltran!

God help us.

1 comment:

Kimberly Jones said...

No matter how bad he sucked, Lance was always available for post game interviews.