TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT
Tonight's moon phase: WANING CRESCENT

FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Jesus Montero doesn't know the trade is over and the Yankees won

Jesus was already too chubby as a Yankee farmhand.
Sometime soon, the Seattle Mariners likely will recall Jesus H. Montero from the Pacific Coast League, where the newly toned, 1B mountain of muscle is hitting .336 with 4 HR.

Apparently, Jesus doesn't know the Great Cashman Trade is over, and Cashman won.

Clearly, Michael Pineda turned out to be the prize of the deal. Right now, he is the best pitcher in the AL East. No matter what walls Jesus is pile-driving down in Tacoma, the key word there is "Tacoma."

Still... let's face it: The Fate sisters are flat-out, bi-polar nut-jobs. They'll do whatever they want, and they love nothing more than sticking it to the Yankees. (Remember those gnats that attacked Joba in Cleveland?) It would be just their style to tweak Pineda's gonad and have Jesus heal Robbie Cano with his magic bat.

Last winter, Jesus lost 45 pounds and rededicated himself to the game. Ever since, he's been hitting. He had a nice spring training. Now this. He's 25, younger than Dellin Betances was last year. If Pineda falters...

But to me, one question remains unresolved. Did the Yankees mess up Montero, or did he do it to himself? Obviously, about five years ago, Jesus came to believe the press clippings that assured everyone that he was a budding superstar. Much of that attention came because he was a Yankee, especially in a time when the team had little else on the farms. Looking back, it's a joke to believe that Montero was ever going to be a major league catcher. But at the time, we all believed it. And so apparently did he... so he didn't work hard enough, ate ice cream sandwiches, and fell apart.

Pineda, on the other hand, came to NYC - reported arm trouble - and immediately became a whipping mule. Pinata, everybody called him. He had shoulder surgery, got picked up for DUI, and then stupidly slathered pine tar down his neck - one thing after another. Now, he's finally emerging.

Could they both blossom at the same time?

One other question: Are the Yankees a better place to be reborn... than to be unveiled?

Because we have a bunch of kids on the farm who look like they could be the real deal. Can they handle New York? Can they ignore their press clippings? Jesus couldn't... and even now, the key word is still Tacoma.

5 comments:

Buhner's Ghost said...

It's no coincidence that Tacoma is known as "the City of Destiny."

el duque said...

That's nothing. Syracuse is known as the "City of Destiny USA."

John M said...

Oh yeah? Well, Schenectady is known as "the City of Dysentery." Top that, wisenheimer.

joe de pastry said...

I hated that trade. Now I feel like a happy dumbass.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

...gateway to Troy!