FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

"It's an A-Bomb... from the Antichrist!" Proposed Yankee marketing strategies to exploit A-Rod's 666th home run

1. Beezelbub Bobblehead Night.

2. Michael Kay's call: "PIT... FURNACE... HELL... SEE YA!"

3. First 5,000 fans in attendance get to sell souls for Yankee win.

4. Team hailed as rightful keeper of "Evil Empire" copyright.

5. In post-game Clubhouse Report, Suzyn interviews Adolph Hitler.

6. Those aren't boos; they're fans, chanting "LOOOOO-cifer."

7. On Jumbotron scoreboard, George Steinbrenner transmits from Hell.

8. "... This is the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Beast..."

For God's sake, help me here, I gotta be missing some good ones...

11 comments:

John M said...

God has nothing to do with it, Duque!

Bwahahahahaha!!!!

Blind Robin said...

Dick Cheney night at Yankee Stadium.

Blind Robin said...

Charlie Daniels and the Devil have a fiddle contest after the game.

Leinstery said...

OHHH there it is, homerun number 666! Sing along Suzyn you know the words, "6-6-6 the number of the beast! 6-6-6 the one for you and me!"

Imagine if A-Rod was the Anti-christ and the moment he hits 666 he brings about Armageddon. That'd kind of be a downer no?

Anonymous said...

Lifelong, but recently relatively casual, Yankees fan here. I haven't visited this site in awhile, but this post made it worth it. Good stuff.

KD said...

Devil got no movement on dat fastball...

Alibi Ike said...

Free scalp tattoos for all children under 12

Alibi Ike said...

CC reveals his belly is actually a glaring face and a wide ravenous mouth, like a demon in a Bosch painting.

Beana27 said...

The 7 (layers of hell) inning stretch

Anonymous said...

One lucky fan gets to sacrifice a goat to ensure the Devil keeps A-Rod productive.

Bill said...

Can't believe no one else has made the connection to the musical Damn Yankees...only this time Jerry Lewis (who played the Devil in one stint on Broadway) rises up out of the ground near home plate as A-Rod touches it to claim him.