As spring training nears, some personal announcements...

First, I'm excited about coming back in 2016. Over the winter, I've dedicated myself to a hard physical workout regime, the likes of which I've never done before. The results have been astonishing. I feel like a new blogger. I've never felt better, and I believe this Yankee season shapes up as the best of my career.

Secondly, I've done a lot of thinking about my breakdown toward the end of last season. I fell into a prolonged slump and was not helping the team. Over the winter, I made some critical adjustments in my typing. On the advice of Mike Lupica, I moved myself a few inches closer to the keyboard. The results have been astonishing. I feel like a new typer. I've never keyboarded better, and I believe this new sitting stance is going to change everything in 2016.

Thirdly, I've done some hard thinking. Over the winter, I dedicated myself to the team. Total commitment. I cut down on the Twinkies, the Snyder's of Hanover and the Old Milwaukee, and for the first time since fifth grade, my blood pressure is below Rosie O'Donnell at a Trump rally. The results have been astonishing. I feel like a new fan. I've never peed better. I'll blogging blog spring training in the best bloggng shape of my blogging life.

I can't wait. I'm expecting a roll out year with Joe, A-Rod, Tex, CC, Mustang, Alphonso, John, KD, I'm Bill White, maybe even Whitey Fraud, and all the commenters. I smell Wild Card! Excuse me, it's time for my enema.