The end is near, and we have nobody to end it

Yankee pitching over the last 30 days.

And so it begins, the final act of the 2017 potboiler, "Ten Little Yanks." In the manner of all great Hollywood whodunits, Basil Rathbone has gathered all the suspects together in the game room, beneath the chandelier. One by one, he outlines the reasons why each wanted the young, drunken gadfly  Steinbrenner heir dead. Eventually, one of them - usually, the butler - breaks, pulls a gun, shouts his confessional speech, and impales himself on the wrought iron fence. Roll the credits. Hooray for Hollywood.

Today, after Tuesday's horrifying ninth-inning loss, Joe Girardi will summon the Yankee bullpen together like the collection of murder suspects that they are. Over the season, each has committed some nefarious crime against the Yankees. According to reports, Joe will name Aroldis Chapman - the living embodiment of Yankee boondoggles - as final act closer. El Chapo, the man who nearly single-handedly gave Boston the AL East, will be put in charge of nailing down the one-game Wild Card post-season nothing-burger.

The above chart displays Yankee pitching over the last 30 days. As you can see, it's a tale of three closers - David Robertson, Dellin Betances and El Chapo. One at the top, one in the middle, and one far down at the bottom, looking up at those paragons of bullpen prowess, Chasen Shreve and Bryan Mitchell. So whom is Girardi going with? Of course, the one with the biggest contract.

In a three-Kleenex Hollywood movie, Girardi would be the wise, white-haired manager whose loyalty to Gary Cooper wins the World Series. If only it were so. The sad fact is that Girardi, who took up managing the Yankees 10 years ago with a great portfolio and golden future, has devolved into a bad TV show - the other day, in a rainout theater, he and Meredith made pizzas - and collection of print-outs, because he can't use laptops in the dugout. Instead of grand expressions of loyalty, he follows shit-eating, corporate policy. And the guy the Yankees long ago brought in to the save our shattered, Scott Proctored bullpens has become the death of late inning games.

Of course, it's not all Girardi's fault. The Yankees' vaunted minor league system - of which we've heard self-congratulatory praise all year - never developed a big bullpen arm. (Chad Green, the closest we have, arrived last year.) Other teams unveil hard throwers. To stay afloat, the Yankees had to trade for Robertson, Kahnle and Garcia. The Ben Hellers, the Gio Gallegoses, the Holders and the Smiths - they either fell apart or never got a chance. Take your pick. 

Either way, this movie is coming to an end. And we have no final act.