Saturday, May 5, 2018

At this rate, El Chapo not only won't last the season, but he'll kill me

Gary says he was "crossed up." Hellova time to get it wrong.
In his last three outings, Aroldis Chapman has been:

1. Untouchable. Three strikeouts on 14 pitches, nine strikes. Poof went Houston's dominance over us. I celebrated with wings, fries and extra-carb gravy, washed it down with a lard-and-sugar Shamrock Shake so thick that I ate it with a fork.

2. Un-hittable. Three strikeouts on 15 pitches, but the final strike rolled behind Gary Sanchez, allowing Fatty Evan Gattis to waddle to first base; the next hitter singled, putting the tying run in scoring position, prompting another strikeout of, gulp, Jose Altuve. I needed a double-whiskey and Kombucha. 

3. Un-catchable. Three strikeouts on 18 pitches, 11 strikes, with two wild pitches, a hit-batter, a run, a blown save, three mound trips, and a final strikeout with the go-ahead run at third. I needed a Fleet enema and a happy pill. 

El Chapo's next appearance could send me to the colonoscopy clinic.

Listen: The guy cannot be hit; he's a human rifle. Trouble is, maybe he cannot be caught. 

I am starting to think that, along with having Austin Romine act as Sonny Gray's personal caddie catcher, Romine should also come in to catch save opportunities. For whatever reasons - last night, Sanchez says he was crossed up on the game-tying wild pitch - too many balls are flying straight to the backstop. At age 30 - when presumably he has three solid seasons left - Chapman's entrance is becoming a Forrest Gump box of chocolates. Even when he gets the job done, he flirts with disaster, and it's hard to imagine him lasting the year with so many daily, self-created, Trumpian crises. 

In the last two victories - potential YES Classics - the Yanks have overcome bullpen meltdowns that could have left us doing Sylvia Plath oven inspections. The safest thing to say is that no lead is safe. Dellin Betances is a Vegas crap shot, Tommy Kahnle is hurt, David Robertson is making too many mistakes, and Mean Chad Green - the real Rolaids Man - cannot pitch every game without eventually summoning the angry, cap-burning ghost of Scott Proctor. 

Down in Scranton, you'll be delighted to know that the bullpen last night emulated the Mother Ship, squandering a nice outing by Chance Adams (six innings, two runs) by allowing three runs in the final three and losing to mighty Pawtucket. If you're looking for hope, avoid the Moosic exit on Route 81. Oliver Perez lasted one-third of an inning; Brady Lail came in and walked four; Raynel Espinal, a 26-year-old righty who has risen through the farm system like a slow stream of magma, finally staunched the bleeding. Overall, Yankee bullpens this week made more embarrassing mistakes than Rudy Giuliani... and that's saying something.

Last year, Green emerged to save our season. Without him, the bullpen "stoppers" would have collapsed in vintage Joe Torre-style. This year, somebody needs to step up. If Adams gets back his fastball, perhaps they should move him to the bullpen - (some "scouts" claim this is his eventual destination, anyway.) Or maybe one of the chosen ones - Justus Shefield or Dillon Tate - could become a late-inning surprise of August. Yes, there's danger in shifting young starters to the pen, but the most we ever got from Phil Hughes was that glorious late summer when he held down the eighth, and pitching in relief didn't derail Luis Severino two seasons ago. Somebody's gotta help us, or I won't survive this.

9 comments:

Publius said...

"If you're looking for hope, avoid the Moosic exit on Route 81."

True on so many levels...

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Things to think about, bullpen edition:

1. Neither Justus nor Chance is on the 40-man roster.

2. When Adam Warren and Kahnle come back, space on that roster needs to be created.

Yeah, I know, they can DFA Cole and Hale. That leaves 2 more spots to open up, if all 4 of these guys are coming to the Bronx.

Sounds to me like Cashmoney is gonna move some folks in trades. But who?

Alphonso said...

This is why we need 10 runs a game. Seven just won't cut it.

And how often will we hold a team like Cleveland to zero runs in 7 innings? Or Houston to zero runs in nearly 27 innings?

But we are hanging in there.

Somehow.

Thank you to the Spanish Victory ladies.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I have a quibble here.

Why was it two for the money, three for the show, and four to go?

Isn't it one for the money, two to the show and three to get ready and four to go?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRNyvO4QouY

Or is this like the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor?

TheWinWarblist said...

Wretched. I had to open a second bottle.

Alphonso said...

Because I got it wrong.

Because they were spanish victory ladies and they count differently.

Haven't you ever started writing something when you were four sheets to the wind....I mean three?

And I started without an exit strategy.

Also, I was no good at nursery rhymes. Or rhymes of any kind.

But here is the great thing; at least you were paying attention.


JM said...

My wife was incredulous when Curry criticized Sanchez for not catching the second wild pitch during the post game show. She was right, as usual. It's almost like the "Sanchez is bad defensely" meme is officially blessed by the powers, even when it was blatantly obvious that El Headcase threw a wild, uncatchable pitch. What the he'll?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Fonzie,

The interwebs is littered with my prose whilst four sheets to the wind. Or three, take your pick.

And I didn't panic when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

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