Tuesday, May 15, 2018

It's a roofie from Robbie!


Another thing to be thankful for: He's not a Yankee.


24 comments:

Leinstery said...

Rough couple of days for Joggie.

KD said...

My west coast informant says Beckham will take his place and the Mariners will be leading the league in locks.

KD said...

will he get the A-Rod treatment? That would be sweet.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


The news is now confirmed.

The interesting sentence in the article is: "Cano can serve his 80-game suspension while he’s on the DL."

I.e., Given how long he was going to be out anyway with his injury, he's an unlucky but awfully lucky son of a gun.

TheWinWarblist said...

I hope he doesn't get that treatment. Don't begrudge Robbie his 240 SuperLarge. He had this one chance to become an oligarch, you know, without starting an organized crime family or overthrowing a small republic. And The Mariners are paying for it! I will always cheer him whenever (if ever?) he returns to the stadium.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


FWIW, I sat here for a moment trying to think up a riff on the "Would have been a homer on the juice" subheadline that ARod got, but the effect of the drug and the effect on his performance run in opposite directions.

Here's all I could come up with:

     Joggie woulda crawled without the juice.

Meh.  Anyone else?

Alphonso said...

And Seattle has to pay his full cost?

Isn't there a contract clause to relieve the team of paying full salary in this circumstance?

Pretty cool timing, though, for Seattle. He was going to be out a minimum of 30 days with broken bone.

Add another 10 games for " recovery" and minor league games.

And he might appeal. After all, his " meds" were prescribed by a Dr.

So what if the Dr.'s creds were from the DR?

Jog Robby, Jog.

Anyway, do they want to offer a starter for Tyler Wade? And Chance Adams?

Parson Tom said...

Sad day for the first superstar the Yankees let get away. (first I can think of anyway.) The Yankees were smart not to pay him, but his results in New York were always positive, including five seasons with 5+ WAR. :))

TheWinWarblist said...

How does furosemide improve performance in a human like Robbie. They dope horses with it to relieve pulmonary congestion when the horse runs, but we know that Robbie never runs, only joggies. Don't ya know!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


The articles I read indicated that furosemide is a diuretic that can be used to mask other banned substances during urine tests.

Why he was taking it is anyone's guess. Let's ask Jay-Z, he'll know!

Leinstery said...

Win Warblist, from what I understand he tested positive for a masking agent. It's in the same vein of the dog eating your homework, everyone knows that's not the case and you just didn't do it. Here everyone knows Joggie didn't take it to help recover from the Kentucky Derby, but for nefarious reasons.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Who knew he had congestive heart failure?

Or did someone just slip it into one of those big sloppie "magic" milkshakes?

TheWinWarblist said...

He doesn't have congestive heart failure, you walnut! It's used for high blood pressure too. And it's one of the few blood pressure medications that won't make him tired or - ahem - slow him down.

TheWinWarblist said...

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A MASKING AGENT! I DON'T RUN A SPORTS MEDICINE CLINIC HOW WOULDIKNOWSOMETHINGLIKETHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks for clarifying that, LBJ. (As opposed to, say, masking it.)

So, the way MLB works is, a player—Tyler One—gets in a fight where no one is hurt after being thrown at, and we can't even fill the roster spot while he's suspended.

But another player can break the well-established drug rules and get to serve out a considerable part of his suspension while on the DL.

What's wrong with this picture?

TheWinWarblist said...

Hrrmm ... what I mean to say is that masking agents are outside of my scope of practice. There are legitimate reason to use furosemide in a young person. Diuretics are the best choice for men of color who have hypertension, for example. Of course, Leinstery, you may be correct and that it was prescribed with the object of plausible deniability in mind.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

...and who are you calling 'walnut'?

Ah fukit. I've been called worse, by worse.

Anyway, it's Mr. Nutt to you.

TheWinWarblist said...

Yessir, Mr Nutt!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thank you very much.

...and don't forget to tip your servers.

Anonymous said...

WELL, AS I KEEP SAYING, STEROIDS ARE ALIVE AND WELL IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IN 2018.

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TAKE SOME BLOOD FROM :
1. CHARLIE MORTON
2. JUSTIN VERLANDER
3. GERRIT COLE

.....AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN MLB FOR THAT MATTER.

WISH THEY WOULD.

I KNOW THEY WON'T.

THE GAME WILL NEVER BE 100% CLEAN. (NOT EVEN CLOSE).

NEVER.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I fear that you're right, ALL-CAPS, and I think we'll get into even weirder areas as we continue to develop drugs and treatments that alter human performance even more.

As for the Astros' staff, the secret formula is supposedly simpler: clear pine tar they use to make the ball spin more.

I don't know, but if so, what's needed is for our manager and other managers to get on it—to harass the umps into checking out these guys. (Unless, of course, we're doing it, too.)

Anonymous said...

YEAH, BUT HOSS....

CHARLIE MORTON USED TO THROW 92 MPH FOR A COUPLE YEARS IN THE N.L.

PINE TAR CAN'T MAKE YOU ADD 7 MPH ON YOUR FASTBALL.

NO WAY.

NO HOW.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, is that it? What I'd read was all about how their spin rate was sooooo much better.

Yeah, added speed is something else.

TheWinWarblist said...

Clear pine tar. And Juicing. With a capital J.