Thursday, May 17, 2018

Trade a pitcher for a pitcher?

Love what the days off do for our bullpen—and for idle, rainout speculation.

Here's one:  Sonny Gray for Bumgarner?

The Giants, who aren't going anywhere anytime soon, would get a pitcher at half the price, with an extra year of control, who is popular in the Bay Area.

We get Bumgarner—assuming he's healed.

We could even throw in something from Column B. A free Hicks stick, or a Won-ton Wade for their creaky, disastrous infield.

Worth thinking about? Of course not! We have no control over this.  Still...

Yankees now killing Soccer, 84-76.



39 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AT HOSS....

BUMGARNER IS THE GUY WE SHOULD WANT DOWN THE ROAD.

LOVE THE HICKS, SONNY AND WADE PACKAGE. (GIVE THEM DRURY TOO IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH).

.....BUT WE'RE DEALING WITH COOPERSTOWN CASHMAN IN A DEAL FOR PITCHING HERE. SO WE ARE AT A SEVERE DISADVANTAGE.

I HAVE MADE MY SPRING TRAINING PREDICTION OF COOP MAKING THE WRONG DEAL FOR COLE HAMELS, INSTEAD OF MADISON BUMGARNER..... I CAN SMELL IT.

HAMELS JUST FEELS LIKE A LEFTY SONNY GRAY TO ME ONCE HE GETS HERE.

WE NEED A BIG GAME DIFFERENCE MAKER.

LIKE VERLANDER WAS LAST SEASON.

LIKE BUMGARNER WAS IN HIS PAST.

NOT LIKE HAMELS (WHO HAD TROUBLE BEATING THE METS IN REGULAR SEASON GAMES TIME AND TIME AGAIN WHEN HE WAS WITH THE PHILLIES).

PLEASE, LET ME BE WRONG.

Carl Weitz said...

LOL, Horace. I don't think those were portabellas you had on your pizza last night. No way in hell SF does that trade. Damn, I'd do that trade even if Madison is hurting because at least we all know only one pitcher in that trade will be getting better with time.

Anonymous said...

HC66 exemplifies the essential idiocy of fandom--every team is desperate to unload its prized possessions in exchange for the Yankees' garbage. First he suggests Boston would like to part with some of its best young arms in exchange for the dung heap known as Ellsbury; now he descends even further into incoherency by suggesting a one-up Gray for Bumgarner swap--another shit-for-gold proposal. He and fans like him seem to believe that every GM is as stupid as they are--or as Cashman.

Why does duque imagine that this guy qualifies for featured articles on the blog?

Anonymous said...

No wait, says HC66--I'll give you not one, but TWO pieces of shit for a brick of gold, adding Hicks to the equation.

These posts are garbage. Duque ought to exercise more stringent editorial control over blog content.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


On May 17, 2018 at 12:08 PM, Anonymous said:

     HC66 exemplifies the essential idiocy of fandom...He and fans like him seem to
     believe that every GM is as stupid as they are


A few days ago, on May 14, 2018 at 6:41 PM, Anonymous observed that:

     I am attacked first, and the attackers then whine like two-year-olds when they get
 back a taste of their own.


Shortly before that, on May 14, 2018 at 4:58 PM, Anonymous made the following "guarantee":

     I guarantee you that I was always attacked first.

It's only a few days later so please do us all a favor and point out where in HC66's original "Trade a pitcher for a pitcher?" post, or in any of the comments that followed, you were "attacked first".

Please note that I have tried to keep these comments civil and I'll request that you do the same. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

KD said...

going trough life nasty and self obsessed is no way to get posting privileges, jerk nut.

el duque said...

If somebody said I "exemplify the essential idiocy of fandom," I would consider my life's work fulfilled.

Anonymous said...

Another unprovoked personal attack from the nasty little Baby Stat-Boy. He can't help himself. He must be miserable. He must be DYING for attention. ANY ATTENTION. oh baby stat boy, you poor little boy. Who made you so miserable back when you were a baby baby?


~Sodomizing Fuck

Carl Weitz said...

I've only been reading this blog for about 3-4 years, not since its inception. So I don't know the relationship between Duque, Alphonso, Horace, LBJ, et al. Did everyone at one time write for NY newspapers? Did you all meet professionally or through this blog? Perhaps someone can address this some day.

All the guys with posting privileges appear to be intelligent and creative, very good writers and (relatively) sane. There will always be a difference of opinion when it comes to sports even when it involves our beloved NY Yankees. But I guess not everyone sees this blog as a place for humor and not an outlet for anger and rage. That's what politics are for!

KD said...

I fell in love with duque's writing several years ago and began obsessively commenting. Duque, for a reason known only to him, gave me posting privileges and I went nuts for a while but have not posted much of late. I'm pretty much a contemporary of John M but not nearly as well received. I'm an Entomologist at a large public University. It must be noted that all us Entomologists are a little off center. I am a life long baseball fan and am obsessed with the Yankees but am not a serious student of the game. Just a crazy, idiot fan who carried season tickets for many years but now mostly watches on TV and listens to The Master when on the road.

to all you guys, please remember this: someone in NJ loves you!

Alphonso said...

Good points Carl,

This is a place where we express rage, disappointment, and fear through humor, irony, and insight.

I'm not sure your observation that "most with posting privileges appear not only intelligent but also ( relatively ) sane" can stand up to many tests. But thanks, anyway.

I will share only this; The first time I met El Duque we spent the entire evening bemoaning the recent trade of Doug Drabek for Rick Rhoden and other trash from Pittsburgh ( you can research the year ). This was at a small social gathering meant for several folks to become acquainted.

I only spoke with Duque. And drank a lot of upstate beer. Had a great time. We both agreed it was a bad deal.
So I sensed he knew baseball.

He is, for sure, intelligent, a great writer, an acclaimed newspaper reporter and highly creative.

But the relatively sane part does not apply.

Mustang is our best baseball student. He did not grow up with the game, as we had. So Duque and I taught him the game during a really slow summer. Now, Mustang outshines us.

As an aside, I tried to teach him football, so he could waste even more of his time, but he refused.

As for the others, they are far more talented than I.

However, I am the master of negative Ju-Ju.

That is my role.

It is like being captain of the special teams.

TheWinWarblist said...

Horace, you are magnificent! Your baseball acumen is astute and forward thinking. Always tyrade one player with talent for multiple players with none when you "need" to dump salary. Besides, the SFG owe us; we sent then Hensley Meulens for their WS winning years.

TheWinWarblist said...

And thank you Alphonso for that bit of color commentary. I have met the El Duque. Once, only once, but the impression is seared into my memory. It was once upon a beautiful day. A vast festival of many thousands was celebrating his prose. What Alphonso says is true. The relatively sane part does not apply.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I came here 8 years ago for The Master, and stayed for Dugue's brilliant writing & deep fan passion, AND, for the hilariously informative contributions of all the merry pranksters that fill out the IIHIIFIIC roster. You've all been there for me during the meh/blah/belch times, now, I'm enjoying the nirvana of a genuinely great team. No need for vivisections here, especially now, peace and love Yankee mofos!

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Perhaps we can all agree on a few things:

1. Glyber Torres should stay healthy.

2. Greg Bird should GET healthy.

3. J Ellsbury should take months to attend to all of his problems (and avoid additional potholes) -- carefully making sure he's fully healed up in time for the 2020 season.

Also, I have a difficult time imagining that I would ever criticize a guy whose screen name causes me to -- daily -- remember Horace Clarke!!!

Anonymous said...

Poor KD and the other vile other anon spit up their pablum again, showering this blog eith their fetid bile.

My attack on HC66's post was about the flagrant idiocy of his proposal. Given the stupidity of this and other of his comments, I think it's fair to question his fitness to make featured posts on the blog.

As for the personal-attack scorecard that so obsessively consumes the dunce KD and the psychotic other anon: HC66 addressed at least two dozen posts to me larded with insulting epithets. I figure I owe him at least a dozen shots in return before the ledger is evened. To these usual pile-on junkies who never make comments of substance but instead pass their entire blighted lives waiting for a pretext to disgorge their psychotic rage at a stranger on the Internet, I make the following goodwill offer: kiss my ass.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Boy, who could ever tell, from the nature of these comments, that the Yanks are in first place and playing .700 ball? :)

Thank you, WinWarblist, Joe, all the rest of you fellow lunatics, and especially Peerless and Dauntless Leader, El Duque and Alphonso, for providing me with this space to vent the wonderful madness of fandom. No other Yankees site comes close. No other sports site I've ever seen, period, comes close.

Carl Weitz, as for how everybody got together, well, it has a lot to do with assorted Druid stones, various swords and cloaks, and a mysterious ceremony, back in the distant mists of the past. You can see a pretty good re-enactment of the event in "Spinal Tap."

Anonymous said...

Oh and I neglected to inclide the incorrigible asshole LBJ in my offer to osculate my derriere.

Please note as well that my comments were NOT pesonal attacks. I did not call him an idiot; I spoke ofthe idiocy of fandom. I did not say HE is garbage; I said his post was garbage. So once again I am the victim of personal abuse, not the perpetrator or the initiator. I leave all that to the assembled howling wolf pack.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Now, back to "business":

ALL-CAPS, we might just have a shot at Bumgarner.

The Giants, to their credit, tried to play it straight with their fans and construct a contender. It's not really working and sooner or later they're going to wake up to the fact that they have an aging, declining team, and do what what everybody else does, which is tank.

But they're just 3.5 games out now, with the Dodgers looking comatose in last place. Unfortunately, it may take them quite awhile until the reality of their situation kicks in.

If and when they do, though, they're going to have get younger and cheaper...and that might tempt them to take Sonny Boy.

Boston, meanwhile, looks as though it has a real problem in the making with JBJ. Jr.

"Ellsbury," whisper the tall grasses in the Fens. "Ellsbury," remember the fans high in the bleachers. "Ellsbury!"

Anonymous said...

OK. ... FORGET ABOUT HOW ANY OF US FEEL ABOUT THESE PLAYERS.

SONNY GRAY IS 28 YEARS OLD WITH YEARS OF TEAM CONTROL AND A TEAM FRIENDLY CONTRACT.

AARON HICKS IS 28 YEARS OLD AND RIGHT NOW IS OUR STARTING SWITCH HITTING CENTER FIELDER WHO IS "TOOLSY" AND A GREAT DEFENDER.

TYLER WADE IS 23 YEARS OLD WITH GREAT SPEED, A GOOD GLOVE, AND HAD A .310 AVE. AND .382 OBP IN TRIPLE A LAST YEAR.

BRANDON DRURY 25 YEARS OLD AND HAS BEEN CALLED A POTENTIAL "BREAKOUT STAR" IN 2018, BEFORE HIS PHYSICAL PROBLEMS WHICH HOPEFULLY HE WILL OVERCOME. HE HAS ALREADY HIT OVER .300 IN HIS SHORT TIME IN REHAB.

IF YOU ASKED BRIAN CASHMAN TO MAKE THAT DEAL, I GOT NEWS FOR WHOEVER THINKS IT ISN'T ENOUGH FOR BUMGARNER.

CASHMAN WOULD SAY ABSOLUTELY NOT! WE ARE GIVING UP WAY TOO MUCH.

FOR ANY DOUCHEBAG TROLLS ON THIS SITE THAT DON'T APPRECIATE EL DUQUE, ALPHONSO, MUSTANG, JOHN. M, HOSS, KD, LEINSTERY, KEN FROM BROOKLYN, JOE FORMERLY, LBJ, LB (NO J), CARL WEITZ, THE WARBLIST, AND THE REST OF THE SOUL TRAIN GANG.......

GO SUCK ON YOURSELF, DOUCHEBAG.

GO TROLL ON A RED SOX OR MET SITE.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Anonymous:

We tried treating you with respect.

We tried ignoring you.

I just tried to appeal to your sense of logic, but it's pretty clear you don't use the same logic other humans use.

I tried to exercise patience by waiting to make further comments in this thread until you had your turn to reply to my questions.

But it was all for naught.  You are a douche bag.

If everyone here is as lame, contemptible, and unworthy as you maintain, why do you bother hanging out here at all?  Isn't wading through the reams of senseless drivel you accuse us of spewing a waste of your time?

Oh, wait.  There I go, trying to be logical again.  Sorry.  There's no need to answer.  You've made it clear that logic isn't your forte.

I'd like to close by bringing up a different observation I once made about you:

     It's clear that you hardly ever get laid.

For everyone else, back to baseball.  Sorry for the interruption.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


To join the other part of this conversation, I can tell you that I was first introduced to this site on October 2, 2011. Hard to believe that it's almost seven years.

Two points to anyone who knows why I can be so specific about that date.

Anonymous said...

Hey LBJ--you pathetic, writhing, frustrated little worm. Try primal therapy instead of obsessing about me. I'm flattered, but also find your psychopathic outbursts a bit troubling.

Several things are clear about you:

You're a witless slug.

You have never posted an insightful or well-informed comment about baseball.

You harbor a boiling vat of rage in the core of your belly that will result in harm to yourself or a loved one some day.

Get help--and soon.

Anonymous said...

on a happier note... Since everyone is sharing origin stories...

Not sure what the date of my arrival was.

I bought a copy of,"Oh Holy Cow!" when it first came out and used to read Hart in The Village Voice as well. So when I came across an article that mentioned Hart and this blog I had to check it out.

It was at least before Feb 8, 2009 because I wrote this and Duque was nice enough to show it. I was Whither Goest Steve Swindell at the time...

http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/2009/02/sponge-arod-square-pants.html

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Duque--I must differ. You exemplify the PASSION of fandom, but not the tribal idiocy unto believing or proposing, for example, that other teams want to gobble up the Yankees' trash in exchange for gold. You hear this kind of stupidity nonstop on sports talk radio--among both the hosts and the callers (the callers are worse, admittedly)--but I have never seen that in your addictively readable posts. I do see it regularly, however, in the compulsive typing of people like HC66. Exactly NOBODY else but you has engaged constructively and thoughtfully on the issues of analytics and modalities of baseball analysis--they all just rain down hailstorms of abuse and invective whenever it's even hinted at because they think that their philistine ignorance of this subject somehow makes them smarter than the baseball executives who are steeped in sabremetrics because they have hundreds of millions of dollars on the line in their decisions--not just the pathetic salvaging of damaged egos on an Internet blog.

Your posts are models of wit, civility, and exacting writing craft. Alphonso is a surreal gonzo--always entertaining, often hilarious and oddly brilliant. His subject isn't really baseball or the Yankees but the gyrations of his well-soaked psyche, which is a fascinating tangent in itself--it needs no other justification.

Many of the other posters and commenters are just standard-issue mediocrities--in both style and substance. That is a comment on their thinking and writing skills, not their mothers or their personalities or their pet iguanas. If you and Alphonso weren't regulars on the site, who would ever check in here? No one.

Everyone likes to fling out his/her rankings and judgments and catcalls about who rates and who doesn't on the ballfield. But somehow the same judgments applied to the quality of posts and traditional statistics are deemed a crime against humanity, eliciting torrents of demented invective. Too bad. Get a life, guys--and that famous sense of humor you all claim to prize but trample with each wave of ever fouler verbal vomit. I mean a review of this and other recent threads is akin to a performance by the inmates of the Asylum of Charenton under the direction of the Marquis de Sade. Get a grip, you deformed and feral beasts, and learn to write and think even if you're devoid of native wit. Or go pull the legs off ants or whatever else might slake your bottomless thirst for conflict and acrimony.

el duque said...

Doug K,

I remember that SpongeBob satire. It was brilliant then, brilliant now.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Doug K.

...because I wrote this and Duque was nice enough to show it.

That's fantastic. Sometimes someone will resurrect a post from years before my time here and it just reinforces how funny and enjoyable this blog is day in, day out. Something like the game it revolves around.

That leads to another question: When was this blog started? As near as I can tell, seems to be around the beginning of the 2007 season. Is this correct?

Carl Weitz said...

Alphonso and Horace, thanks for taking up my offer to share a bit of room history with the more recent readers. I've often wondered but never found the opportune time to ask. Anonymous, in a strange way, provided the moment to ask. So thanks for that Anon.

The posts here are frequently not that much different than, say, callers to WFAN or any local call-in sports program in that often the trade proposals are made by die hard fans and aren't meant to be a serious point-by-point discussion involving precise metrics and full and equal value for each trade participant. Its more wishful thinking or panning for gold in Alaska. Every fan wants a steal of talent. Just like most GMs.

el duque said...

Mustang - who was then SuperFrankenstein - and I started it in early 2007, when we were really surly about how bad the Yankees looked. It was our version of revenge porn.

Anonymous said...

Half the posts in this blog sound like they were written by Caliban or Hannibal Lecter; the other half by Mr. Rogers or Dr. Phil. Apparently opposites, they share a visceral aversion to truth and honesty. Again--thank goodness for duque and alphonso, tribunes of truth.

Anonymous said...

Carl Weitz -- Of course general managers, like all businesspeople, seek to maximize their self-interest in transactions. But they do not insult the intelligence of their colleagues and waste their time with patently absurd one-sided crackpot proposals (Marv Thronberry AND Duke Maas for Hank Aaron--deal?) of the kind WC66 has floated with a straight face more than once in the past couple of days. They're too busy and serious for that.

Anonymous said...

Or, half the posts in this blog are about how much we like it and the other half is about you. By the way, interesting use of the word "writhing" a few posts back. That's not really a word that gets used a lot. Yet I've seen it three times in the last week. Twice as a primary use (By you and by a regular.)and once as a reference to its use. (By Doug K.) Methinks there might be a connection.

Furthermore, it seems odd that your special brand of negativity moves to the forefront when the Yankees have an off day. Priming the pump?

- Sherlock Gomes

Anonymous said...

"Methinks"--you must be the same jackass that also uses the word "Sirrah."

What you don't do is make original or insightful comments about baseball--or engage in dialogue with those from other commenters. You just jump in to stir the pot of acrimony.

And your asperson on "negativity"--a very deft blending of the Hannibal Lecter blood sport posting with the Dr. Phil positive psychology trope. DOUBLE PLAY of commenting inanity. Nice job!

You're a deeply twisted, pretty dumb, and . . . WRITHING . . . soul. Find a new interest in life other than sniffing my bicycle seat, dumbass--like maybe BASEBALL!

Anonymous said...

Half the posts are about how much we like "it"--it being what? Rocky Road ice cream? Cream cheese and bagels? Rides on the midway? Chili rellenos?

Do tell, dumbass.

And the unreflective, groupthink injvocation of the undifferentiated "we." Your whole purpose out here is to submerge yourself in a mindless cult so you can affirm a sense of identity that you lack about anything important--submerging yourself mostly on the attack, like a slavering member of a lynch mob.

You're one sick, pathetic little fuck.

Anonymous said...

To LBJ,

I think your first post followed the Yanks' loss to the Tigers in Game 2 of the ALDS.

From a long-time regular reader (and enjoyer) of this blog who rarely posts comments because I am not nearly as good a writer -- or as original and insightful -- as you and the other regular posters

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Hey Anonymous:

That's a good guess but I referenced that date because there was a fairly long article in the NY Times on that date about John Sterling. Hart Seely was quoted in the article and this blog was referenced.

I Googled IIH to find it, read a few days worth of posts, and was immediately hooked. I emailed several high school and college friends and I know they all continue to be readers (and occasional post-ers) to this day. I still can't believe that was six and a half years ago.

I start my morning every morning by drinking a cup of coffee while reading through this blog. If Duque hasn't posted by the time I start, I go read the sports sections of the tabloids and then check back in at IIH. My girlfriend once said that she can always tell when I'm sitting in my office reading IIH because "I can hear you cackling in there." Owing to my refined sense of decorum, I normally don't tell her that the sentence that made me laugh involved "traipsing barefoot through a meadow full of nipples" or "taking the pineapple".

So, Carl W. enjoy it. This is a special place. The writing and range of personalities are indeed different than any other blog out there.

Rufus T. Firefly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rufus T. Firefly said...

CORRECTED COPY (I told you I make frequent typos)

I have no recollection of the first time I posted here, but have to suppose that it had something to do with alcohol and googling "John Sterling".

I sometimes go away for weeks or months because of business travel/weird time zones or just general apathy.

I am not allowed to generate content for many reasons, primary being "I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member". Well that and alcohol. And frequent typos.

My main claim to fame is being a co-conspirator in having a commemorative brick being placed at Pumpsie Green's former place of business with this inscription:
"
MY VISIT WAS A
REAL HOME RUN
-- RUSS O'DEY --
"

I have a replica brick in my office signed by Mr. O'Dey and the pitcher who served up his most famous hit. ...which I was privileged enough to observe first-hand.

I enjoy the wittering of the various characters here, and the differences of opinion from all who wandered in here from varied backgrounds. With few exceptions.

This place has also allowed me to appreciate all of the Master's wonderful awfulness that comes over the airwaves. When I attend games, I frequently am yakking about some non-baseball subject to be jolted to attention by cheering, needing to ask "what happened?" The Master gets *paid* to do that. Isn't that amazing?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

LBJ, I also start off each day by checking in here, always, by far, the best part of my morning.
And> RIGHT ON ALLCAPS!

I only listen to the Yankees. I'm an artist and I'm usually in the studio when the games are played, so having the radio on is the only way I can paint and stay plugged into the team. I can certainly understand some of the critiques of The Master, but I find so much joy in his broadcast, and, in his repartee with Suzyn. Somebody long ago said they could imagine him spritzing his throat and doing vocal warm ups like some cartoon version of Lyle Waggoner, this is an image I'm always thinking about when I listen to him, and it's a very loving image,,,, he's the Yankee super fan uncle that I never had.