I Feel Better Than All Of You Today

The reason is simple.

I am a coward.

I have learned that extreme stress can cause heart ailments and even death.

So I chose not to turn on the Yankee game.  After all, they are playing in Boston.  Those fans remind me of mobs in Tehran.  And for them to witness and cheer the humiliation of the Yankees, brings back the storming of the US Embassy and helicopters failing in the desert sand.

So I decided, early, to protect myself from my own rage.  Like the ostrich, if I don't see it happening, then it simply isn't happening.

As an alternative, I join my wife in the exciting game of watching real estate live from Waco, Texas;  " do we re-model our house, honey, or buy a new one?"

Drinking barrel bourbon on the rocks does the trick and, soon enough, the game in Boston has ended. The score sent me shivers, yes, but no high anxiety where I throw things and propel myself into the drywall.

After Sonny Gray's meltdown against the Birds, thus setting up the ruination of our pitching rotation in Boston, I saw little reason to be painted red by the performance of a superior organization.

Neal Walker is still playing.  Clint Frazier is learning how to make birds in origami class, Jesus Sanchez is inhaling burritos and ice cream sandwiches, Torres is playing second as if he were Gary Sanchez, and the menu of observations cited by El Duque ( eg lack of hustle, meaningless power, bad defense, zero managing finesse, poor pitching, etc.) validate my cowardly strategy.

I am alive today, and the house remains undamaged and in order.  There is not a single strand of spaghetti clinging to the dining room wall.  Can all of you say the same?

I plan do the same for the next three games.

When I rejoin the living, we'll still only be out of first place by 8 or 9 games.  And we'll have all that talent recently acquired by Brian Cashman, re-shaping the team into older mediocrity.  A team with no chemistry and no energy.  A team shaped after solo homers, weight, and lack of hustle.  A team with Gray but not Sheffield.

I do worry about the wild card, though.