Thursday, August 2, 2018

It's time to bang the Gong on Sonny Gray

My resolution for 2018 was to be less reactionary, more loving, and to see all of humanity as adorable cherubs filled with hope, rather than polyester-suited demi-pigs. When the Yankees lose, I wouldn't lie in bed, slicing their names into my forearm with the box-cutter. I would stay cool and whimsical. I would take The Long Haul Approach, always looking toward a bold, golden horizon. I promised myself to give faith a fighting chance, and if I had the chance to sit it out or dance... I hoped I'd dance.

Thus, when the Yankees traded Tyler Austin and Luis Rijo for Lance Lynn, despite my urge to climb the cage and hurl feces at my captors, I sat back and twiddled. I held back my indignation, even though I saw us acquiring a 31-year-old tin can, who'd been jettisoned by the Twinkie for no other reason than they were tired of looking at him. And although you cannot predict baseball, Suzyn, one general rule is that fading 31-year-olds don't magically become 25 when they don pinstripes. 

Moreover, I couldn't fathom why we needed Lynn, a sixth starter. 

Well, today, thanks to Sonny Gray, I understand.

GONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

Yesterday, Sonny cleared up my confusion, once and for all. Friends, it's time to stop the music. Surely, there will come a game in September when the Yanks are down by 14, and we've already used Cale Coshow and Brady Lail, not to mention a few position players. That's when we can welcome the sight of Smilin' Sonny Gray, the Pinstriped Tweetmeister, marching from the bullpen to embody every reason why the Yankees are having an off-millennium. 

1. He is the latest in a long conga line of twentysomething, contract-controlled "power arms" that have become as Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman's version of the "manic pixie dream girl" from depraved indie movies. From Jeff Weaver to Javier Vazquez to Michael Pineda, the Yankees keep trading for them, and they always disappoint. Frankly, it's a wonder Cash didn't cut a deal for Chris Archer, because all he could see was Greta Gerwig.

2. He is also our version of a "too big to fail" bank during a financial crisis. Regardless of his performance, Sonny was guaranteed a slot in the rotation, despite the kind of outings that would send a no-name back to Scranton. The Yankees just keep waiting for him to gain command. He has a semi-hopeful outing - maybe six innings and three runs - and we tell ourselves he's here! And then... poof. Over and over... poof. 

3. He is another trade acquisition whose whole positive focus has steadily evolved into ranking on the players we gave up to get him. In this case, only Dustin Fowler - whom the A's last night demoted to Triple A - has an MLB track record: hitting .231 with 6 HRs and 6 SBs. (He's only 23, so there's that.) The Yankees can point to Oakland and say Sonny came cheaply. But wasn't it yesterday that we were explaining how the collapse of Jesus Montero justified Pineda? When that's the positive, you're in trouble.

Yesterday, the Yankiverse learned the reason behind trading for Lance Lynn. Clearly, he should replace Gray in the rotation, and if he fails, I'd happily substitute Luis Cessa, and then Justus Sheffield, and then see who's hot in Scranton. The most intriguing rumor of the recent trade deadline was that the Yankees were offering Gray in deals. Now there are racially offensive tweets, which popped up yesterday. Can you put a guy on the DL for being an ass?

Look, I'm trying to be calm about this. No sense popping a gonad at the keyboard. We have Lance Lynn. Let's tuck Sonny deep into the bullpen, make it into September when the rosters expand, pitch him in 14-run games, and then - come December - trade him somewhere, anywhere, for whatever we can get. GONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG. Sonny Time is over.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, The Gong Show reruns...

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


re: LUKE VOIT

Who the F is he?

There's a headline on beyondtheboxscore.com (I had never previously been there) --

Yankees Trade For One Of Baseball's Hottest Hitters . . Sort Of

I am unable to speak to the reliability of this report. But at least it's not yet another report on who the Yankees might/should trade for, how great Sonny Gray is, and the new injury(ies) to Ellsberger in Tampa.

https://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2018/7/30/17626544/new-york-yankees-cardinals-luke-voit-aaa-first-baseman-chasen-shreve-exit-velocity

Anonymous said...

Re: Voit

Thanks for posting that. I read yesterday that they just called him up along with Cessa but I haven't seen it anywhere else so who knows. At least now I have a sense of him.

Doug K.

The only living boy in Wishaw said...

Forgive me fellow Yankees fans Im still trying to learn about baseball but for me the trade for Gray even if none of the prospects given away turn into anything has been terrible.

Again at the danger of sounding like a broken down record Gray has set the bar so low (insert a snake could get under it wearing a top hat joke here) and he is so bad I refuse to believe Sheffield or Adams could do any worse if they were called up.

It seems like once a fortnight he throws a reasonable game usually against bum opposition and the usual Cashman fanboys say he has turned a corner and how important he will be in the playoffs only for him to return to normal and look miles out of his depth.

We simply can't continue to give away wins by letting him pitch.

Get him in the bullpen and let him throw garbage time innings and trade him as soon as possible anything we get back is a bonus.

As for Voit I really hope it works out and we have uncovered a hidden gem.But again getting on my hobby horse and boring the good folks of this site Mike Ford has hit for power and gets on base and I would like to see him get a chance to see if he can do it in the bigs.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Disabled list? Ha no we have something better... racist tweets! Release him! Sonny, you’re white. And 2: you’re so damn white.

TheWinWarblist said...

So endeth the JuJu.

And hopefully Sunny's days as a Yankee.

13bit said...

The biggest trade is the one we did not make, the one that would have sent Sonny anywhere else but the Bronx.

Joe of AZ said...

Ooooh boy when he came off that mound smiling. I wanted to crown him with a brick.... Nothing funny about getting your a** kicked by a team in peac for a billion losses and burying your team everyone you take the mound.

Cashman needs to demand pitchers take a psych test right after the physical before coming to New york

Joe of AZ said...

BTW: These are the times when I miss binders "managing every game like game 7 of the world series"


But then I remember that he'd probably bench gleyber for Walker because of yesterday's game and than I'd say good riddance :)

ranger_lp said...

Probably Gray becomes the long pitcher in the bullpen. I think we call it the "mop-up pitcher." LL (not Loretta Lynn) goes into the rotation for now. Sheffield probably stays in AAA so they get another year of control over him.

Alphonso said...

Voit? Voit you say? And Luke? Luke you say?

So he is biblical......

And set for porn movies......

Named after a basketball brand?

But the truth is: his name has been mis-presented. There is a typo.

The last name is Void. Void With a "D," as in dog.

As in; no prospects, no bat, no glove no arm. As in, " empty of content."

Luke Void is as worthless as Sonny Gray.

Empty. Constituting nothing.

Another Cashman slobbery dream. Only with urine.

Forget this name if you are able.

The wild card is fading into the distance.

We'll all sleep better if the Yankees get nothing.

Like falling into an abyss. Or a void. Or a black hole.

Alcohol. Wine and coke in San Sebastian.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant, Duque, just brilliant, in humor, language, and logic.

HoraceClarke66 said...

M. Wishaw: yes, exactly!

As the helpful link from Joe FOB tells us, Luke Voit...is almost an exact reproduction of Ryan McBroom. Or Tyler Austin. Or our beloved Mike Ford. And yes, I know Ford has been hurt and bad this year, but why wasn't he given a shot before? Why not McBroom?

It's almost as if Cashman is performing some mad scientist experiment to build or acquire the exact same player, over and over again.

As Joe's link tells us, what Voit gives us is basically good wOBA. Hurrah!

If you'll note, one of the charts shows him as so good at this in the minors that he was only a few slots behind...Garrett Cooper. The man who, when he actually was given a few games to prove himself last year, did nothing but slam doubles and drive in runs—and was promptly demoted and traded.

(Voit also has great exit velocity, just a little behind Judge, The Man Who Can Only Hit At Home, and Stanton, who is a fine player but how he won the MVP at any level above Pony League continues to baffle me...)

This is now getting truly crazy. We are left with Shane Robinson in the outfield, while Coops shuffles the exact same first basemen through the system. We dump Jaime Garcia—and pick up Lance Lynn.

And incidentally, if Lynn WAS so good against the Sox, WHY was he the one picked to pitch long relief in a game where we already trailed by 6 runs yesterday?

I realize that Ma may have had few options—but why was that? Why was there absolutely no anticipation that Sonny Gray, who had already given us 3 such meltdowns at home this year, might do the same again?

For all of the failures by this player or that manager, what this ultimately comes down to—yet again—is a general manager who is no good at his job.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Good info JFB.

KD said...

Joe F, I find myself appreciating Binders the more I see of the way Boone handles Sanchez. I used to think Binders had no idea what he was doing to the guy. that he was a jealous ex-catcher unable to cope with a budding superstar.

Boy, was I wrong. Joe saw where Sancho's head was at and acted accordingly. Now that we have Boone, the best that can be done for Fat Sancho is to get him a Life Coach. One with corporal punishment privileges.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


One excuse for bringing Loretta in Weds. was to audition him for Sonny's spot -- and get him slotted to go in Sonny's spot next time.

I say this with the most optimism I can muster at this point.

Pathetic?

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


re: Voit + Cessa on NYY major league active roster.

Here's a Tweet claiming this:
https://twitter.com/bydjeberle/status/1024835833453596672?s=21

......not confirmed anywhere else that I can find.

Makes sense if they're gonna DL the great Happ, with his foot-in-mouth disease.

Voit makes sense if they're going to use him as a DH (RH hitter, Fenway, blahblahblah). Question is, who goes down? The only candidates I can identify -- in looking at the roster -- are Shane Robinson, Tyler Wade or Neil Walker. I guess if SRob goes, they're thinking Walker or Wade will be the extra outfielder (?)

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Other sources are reporting Voit/Cessa call-up now (1240 eastern) - based on that Tweet, tho.

Checked on Voit's minor league record. In 424 minor league games, 13 as a leftfielder -- that's it. In his thin major league record (34 games) -- none in the outfield.

This guy is 27 years old, BTW.

Plus there's this from NJ.com:

"In the minors this season, Voit has actually been better against righties (.307 BA, .906 OPS, 199 AB) than vs. lefties (.237 BA, .789 OPS, 59 AB)."

Whaddya bet the NYYs put him in the line-up against the LHP for the Evil Sox...?

HoraceClarke66 said...

"Loretta!" I love it, Joe!

HoraceClarke66 said...

There's a strong possibility of rain on Friday and Saturday in Boston. I'm hoping we get torrential rains...all four days. And then, maybe, the whole team stages a wildcat strike. And is removed from the league.

Those are my only scenarios for us ever winning another pennant.

13bit said...

You’re a realist and a reasonable man, Hoss.

13bit said...

https://www.mlb.com/yankees/news/sonny-gray-moved-to-yankees-bullpen/c-288560352

Anonymous said...

As a Yankee fan since the mid-50's, I will continue to root for and support the "dumb-ass" Torres, the "lazy MF" Sanchez, and players like Gray and Jacoby because they are New York Yankees. The real villain in all this is that jackass cASSman who overpays for these players who can't perform like the Berras, Mantles, Fords, Gehrigs, DiMaggios, and Ruths of the past. cASSman's head has gotten so big that it has outgrown his hair. Management needs to hold him responsible. Of course, Hell is also responsible since he makes Yankee policy. Our farm system is deteriorating rapidly as he (cASSman) attempts to put out one fire after another. His actions, again, reminds me of the oil filter commercial where the spokesman says "you can pay me now or you can pay me later!! If you can't win against the worst teams in baseball, you're not going to win the division.

Parson Tom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leinstery said...

Thank God, fuck Sonny.

Who the hell is Luke Voit?

And you haven't been paying attention if you don't think CC ain't coughing that lead up at some point.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Separated at birth. Brock Holt and Sonny Gray. Or are they evil twins?

Parson Tom said...

As CC STRUGGLES in the 2nd, I want to offer my love and respect. A great Yankee.

TheWinWarblist said...

What the fuck does CC think he's doing??

Leinstery said...

3 innings. Great outing you fucking slob

Leinstery said...

What a fucking joke.

Joe of AZ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rufus T. Firefly said...

This is disgusting.

Retired Stratman said...

Boone sucks. Mr. Great Communications Skills.

Joe of AZ said...

Joe FAugust 2, 2018 at 9:04 PM
TODAY Im officially DONE with our stupid "pasty" GQ smooth as silk coach. Im sick of his kumbaya calm cool and collected body language. Running his team like a dam fraternity house....I need passion I need screaming I need veins popping base throwing ...someone that will get in the Sanchez's, Grays, or the whole teams faces when they fail repeatedly and give em the business or show them the AAA sign. The level of inteptitude displayed tonight is EMBARRASSING UNACCEPTABLE.... Im sorry I don't see Carlos Beltran/ Bam Bam hell even binders (this late in the yr in this kinda series) putting up with this crap! You guys arethe DAM YANKEES get you lazy a** together.

Retired Stratman said...

And when was the last time Green threw a clean inning? He’s sucked for weeks now.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

ABSOLUTELY BEYOND PATHETIC!
,,,apologies to ALLCAPS

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I live in New England and I have no (free) alternative but to listen to and watch the Red Sox feed. I can't stand it anymore so, like the Yankees, I am giving up on this game.

Before I leave, I have two observations:

     1) We are glad we had Romine in there for CC's various pitches in the dirt instead
     of Sanchez because, otherwise, it would now be 36-4.

     2) Larry Rothschild and Mitch McConnell are nearly identical twins.

I hate this.

Carl J. Weitz said...

4 innings and 8 Yankee strike outs or 2/3 of their outs. A microcosm of the team's season.

Retired Stratman said...

And another thing - I’m sick of that goddam Audi commercial where the girl quits her job and marches out of the office with a “my sh*t don’t stink” look on her face.

Joe of AZ said...

For u my friend...let us continue in blissful misery.

A Yankee feed that's free (virus free as well)

https://www.strikeout.nu/boston-red-sox-vs-new-york-yankees-stream-4-baseball

Carl J. Weitz said...

LBJ...if you have a vpn you can set to NYC area Ill give you a password to use so you can get live Yankee games on the Fox Sports GO remote app.

Anonymous said...

You have WinWarblist, the psycho Killer Doc, and Diseased Anon to blame for this. These malice-addled ciphers could just not contain the pressure of animus, and burst forth, gratutitously, and for no reason, with a typically demented verbal assault on King Anon, the Lord and True Master of this blog. I had no choice but to respond in kind, just as one would wield a spray of Raid at the first sign of a cockroach infestation.

And the worst is yet to come, I assure you. These two psychopaths--and their hapless sidekick Rufus T. Shitfly--choked with venom, vomiting malice, have destroyed the Yankee season by calling forth this karma flogging that has, in the words of the melody, only just begun. Duque could have banished these sociopaths from the blog, thus assuring the karmic safety of the Yankee season. But he sat on this hands. He is now equally responsible for this celestial ass-whipping.

So eat shit, psychos, and go cry in your shriveled little remnant of a life.

Anonymous said...

So endeth the Yankee season, thanks to you, Killer Warblist, and your mini-platoon of squealing misanthropes.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Loud and True Master Baiter.



Rufus T. Firefly said...

I hope they don't score the next field goal.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Retired Stratman,

That commercial is millennial mindset. I'll start a business because I hate my boss -- even if I know nothing about business. But hey -- I drive an Audi, so I'll be applauded by the ignorant masses.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Rufus, Stratman, that was one of the ads I was writing about during our blissful, fondly remembered "off day."

She looks to be about 23, and she quits when she hears some older male executive mention the word "golf" in a conversation with another person. First, though, she has to look down at her List of Things to Do in Life, and read, "Get a great job I love," which is no doubt right between the likes of, "Remember to stop and smell the flowers," and "I hope you dance."

Indeed, she seems completely unbearable in every possible way: someone who censors other people's conversations, harbors grandiose but ridiculously vague dreams for herself, and cannot picture even the smallest act of rebellion—abruptly quitting a shit job—without envisioning scores of other people applauding for her.

All in all, her day dream seems not terribly different from that of Malcolm McDowell's in "Clockwork Orange."

Anonymous said...

responding to local bargain jerk
"Larry Rothschild and Mitch McConnell are nearly identical twins"
no, they are not.
Larry is a semite and Mitch an anti-semite.
Larry has a chin.
Larry is straight and Mitch is a bearded gay.
But why was Larry wearing a hooded long sleeve shirt on a 88 degree humid night?

Jerry S. said...

"Larry is straight and Mitch is a bearded gay."

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

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