Thursday, May 14, 2020

Pandemic Overload: A Q&A with myself

So, Duque, how are you holding up?

Not well, Duque, not well.

Whaddaya mean?

Well, today, Rupert Murdoch's fish wrap has a story on whether Jordan Montgomery will have a big year. Normally, I would devour it with fava beans and a nice chianti. I mean, Jordan Montgomery could have a big year! Right? I mean, I should be on this. I should... care. But I can't read it. Something's wrong. I... just... can't...

So, you think Jordan Montgomery will have a big year?

He might. He might not. That's all I know. I mean, will anybody have a big year?

Wait a minute. I'm asking the questions here. So... you think they'll play ball this year?

Finally, the real question. You screw around too much. That's another thing I hate about you.

You're no walk in the park, either.

Okay, so, the question again?

Will they play baseball this year?

Yeah. They will. They must. Neither side, the owners or the players, wants to go down as canceling a season. So, they will try. The question is whether they can get through a "spring training" without another outbreak? And if so, will it feel like a real season? 

Will you follow it?

Of course. I have no choice. I followed them through Horace Clarke and Dooley Womack. I'll follow them through this. But the best part of a Yankee victory was always shutting up that goddamn Fenway crowd, making those obnoxious frat-boys cry. Remember the silence after Bucky Dent's home run? It's still the most beautiful silence I ever heard. But now, it will always be there. We've been holding these polls for the all-time Yankee opponent team, and I'm amazed at how much respect we give Pedroia, Fisk, Manny, Yaz - even Varitek and Nomar. And it hit me: We don't really hate those guys. We just wanted to stick it to their fans. It's New York v. Boston, a rivalry that extends to our dads and grandfathers, to our friends, to vast communities. But without fans in the seats, it can never be the same. It's going to suck. And then there is the virus, which will almost certainly pop up at some point, maybe forcing a shutdown. I mean, they can't play during an outbreak. Will I follow it? Of course. Will it be awful? Yeah, that too. Can I survive this? Yeah. Will I lose my mind? Yeah, that too.

(Long silence.) So, Jordan Montgomery...?

(Long silence.) Write this down: He's going to have a big year. Or maybe not.

8 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


For the record: I have no respect for Jason Veritek, ditto Nomar Garciaparra.

(Crap, I can't even work up a good 'harrumph'. This pandemic sucks.)

Anonymous said...

Ortiz, I hate.

JM said...

Yaz was Polish. It was a rule in my Catholic grade school, founded by Polish immigrants and where my parents and cousins and siblings all went, that you couldn't hate him. Even one of the older nuns was a Yaz fan.

At this point, after sitting at home for a couple of months in a much quieter Manhattan, it's hard to care about much of anything.

It's either a form of depression or an eternal hangover from drinking every night until the wee hours.

Anonymous said...

Duque,

We are all suffering from cognitive dissonance.

I was talking to my ex-wife this AM in the kitchen of the home that I left two years ago as my college age son slept nearby on the couch instead of his dorm room. His classes will be on line next semester. He may never be allowed to go back.

We are living in two worlds.

In one, my mother and in-laws as well as my two best friends (both overweight and diabetic) will be dead in a year.

In our daily conversations it never comes up.

I have a pantry full of food.

There is plenty of meat at Costco but no chicken. The other day I brought home a 24 pack of toilet paper and was greeted like a GI returning from WW2.

If I go out for a drive I can go past the state capitol building where our governor (who is trying to save us)is described as a Nazi AND a Commie.

Others in the crowd are ACTUAL Nazis. ACTUAL Nazis.

I watched THREE days of NFL draft coverage for a season that isn't happening.

I'm rooting for Hoss' imaginary Yankees to take the imaginary pennant.

I had to buy a kindle because my library is closed.

I have a drawer of Apocalypse Chocolate.

Am I married? The stimulus check had both our names on it. Good thing we're both here.

Will there be baseball? More importantly...

Will Trump lose? If he loses will he leave?

We are living in both worlds at the same time. It's just about what we focus on (and both realities are true.)

There is Yankee news! It does not matter.

The country I grew up in is dissolving, as is my Oreo into a glass of milk.

We are well fed and blessed.

We are totally fucked.

Doug K.





HoraceClarke66 said...

I agree with LBJ about Nomar and especially Varitek. You don't get to be a hero if you punch someone in the face while wearing full protective gear yourself.

I'm sure if Ortiz and Manny had been on the Yankees—as they should've been!—we would've loved them. But I got sick of the determined effort to shrug away their juicing while insisting that A-Rod is a war criminal.

I know, I know, I'm old school. I remember when hypocrisy was a bad thing.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I never had a problem with Yaz—in part because he never seemed to hurt us that much.

Talk about Bucky Dent, and The Silence: I so remember Yaz's legs actually buckling in left when the ball went out. I play that over and over again when I happen upon it. His legs buckled in despair. No Yankee of that era would've let that happen.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But yeah, overall: They are us as we are them and we are altogether. Goo, goo, ga job.

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