When the nasty and very disrespectful Redsocks visit NYC tonight, they will notice a bumpy ride along Mariano Rivera Avenue.
After all, the wheels came off their minivan two weeks ago.
Boston arrives with a record of 6-13, doormats in what constitutes "the AL East." They have no Mookie Betts. They have no David Price. Chris Sale is gone. Eduardo Rodriguez is hurt. Carl Yazstremski's grandson stars for San Francisco. Ted Williams' head remains in the icebox. Ric Ocasek is dead. It's gotten so bad that Curt Schilling's not running for Senate. And holy mackerel! This just in: Andrew Benintendi scraped a knee, he's out for a month. I suggest the Hub immediately establish a protective cordon around its remaining national treasures, Batman Ben Affleck and Marky Mark Wahlberg.
For the Death Star, this four-game series is a perfect opportunity to do the right thing - and put this suffering puppy to sleep.
If the Yanks can sweep - (yes, I know the dangers of expressing overconfidence on this blog, especially with these cheap-ass, pandemic-swollen juju gods, looking to throw their weight around) - Boston would leave the Bronx Sunday night with baseball's worst record, 6-17, and the utter certainty in their bones and billiards that 2020 - the shortest season ever - just ended six weeks earlier than expected.
If they lose all four this weekend, Boston would require a miracle turnaround to reach the post-season. To finish at, say, five games above .500, with a serviceable shot at the wild card, they would have to win 27 out of their remaining 37 - three out of four - with a Triple A rotation and a bullpen full of dry matches and Kingsford.
But but BUT... should we do them such a favor?
Ever since Sale went down with TJ surgery, Boston fans have been itching to pull the plug on this wretched, abbreviated season. Free of even the wild card race, their ownership can gleefully trade JD Martinez, (whom they don't want to pay, anyway), and Mitch Moreland, (currently in a career season) for prospects. Moreover, by finishing last, they would draft first next June, enjoying a bumper crop of prospects, compared to this summer's pandemic-choked breakfast buffet.
I know what you're thinking: "Yeepers, Duque, you yapping about how the Yanks are gonna sweep Boston? That's how we lose four! Shut yer fat mouf, ya goddamm fool." Okay. I get it. There is always the chance of a meltdown. But after Devers, Bogaerts and Martinez, it's a Boston shit show. Anything less than taking three out of four will be a disgrace.
But in this modern era, Boston has shown absolutely no reluctance to tank its weaker teams. And it's worked. In this millennium, they wear more rings than we do. And if next June they parlay this hideous dwarf of a season into a superstar No. 1 draft pick, they might be smiling long after COVID is a memory.
My suggestion: Win the first three, then lose Sunday night, giving them momentum into next week.
In my life, I never thought I would ever write these horrible words, but here goes...
Let the puppy suffer!
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16 comments:
Yeepers, Duque, you yapping about how the Yanks are gonna sweep Boston? That's how we lose four! Shut yer fat mouf, ya goddamm fool.
The baseball gods have been alerted.
Yeepers, Duque, you yapping about how the Yanks are gonna sweep Boston? That's how we lose four! Shut yer fat mouf, ya goddamm fool.
The baseball gods have been alerted.
Yeepers, Richie, yer right.
"Don't let us win one!"
Who said that?
Oh, yeah: Kevin Millar, 2004.
Never let up.
Any Yankee win over Boston is a big Yankee win.
By the way..."long after COVID is a memory" is one prognostication that better come true. Let's hope it does become one and nothing else.
Yumpin yimminy, reading that was like Tim Conway had come back to life.
One must ALWAYS beat the Red Sox.
They should be beaten. Skinned. Made into drums and beaten again.
Don't speak of first round draft picks they might get. Speak of young children in Connecticut standing on the threshold of fan allegiance looking at the state of the Red Sox and the state of the Yankees and going on Amazon to buy that blue sheet set with the pictures of Stanton, Sanchez, Happ... uh maybe they should just get the cap.
But I digress, ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. Beat the Red Sox.
Doug K.
ALWAYS!
You know who
Mild right calf strain for Judge. 10 day DL. I don't buy it. I think Cash's nerds have determined that lots of time off for a certain type of player increases productivity at crucial moments, or somehow forestalls truly catastrophic injury. Sterling doesn't buy it either.
Gleyber is back
Or could it be that, sadly, Judge is just not a guy who can stay on the field for very long?
Judge-Stanton HRs, 2017: 111
2018: 65
2019: 30
2020: 6
Hmm, I think I see a pattern here...
Boone either wasn't telling the truth Tuesday or isn't telling it now...or both. It was just a routine bit of rest the other day; now it's "mostly" Boone's eagle eyes deciding not to further injure a man he said wasn't injured to begin with. I have no way of knowing Aaron Judge's condition and I get why there's lots of reason to think he might need a break given the past, but this reeks of bullshit. The management of this team has done nothing to show me they are above lying about this. I'm with Publius (and the Master, it seems) on this one.
Worst thought...Yanks shut down Judge periodically to depress his market value ahead of FA. If that's even remotely the case, Judge needs a new agent. Unless he's in on it, of course, and wants to stay a Yank for life and has worked out a side deal with the Yanks to artificially depress his value. That way when he signs what looks like a team friendly deal (but with all kinds of side deals hidden from public eye), it'll be because he can't stay healthy and the MLBPA won't come screaming at him to take the most money, no matter who is offering it. "You have to do it for the 25th man, and the legacy of Marvin Miller and Curt Flood! Otherwise, we'll call you a scab, pitchers will throw at you and we'll leak info to make it look like you have a fucked up private life." AKA the Bryce Harper treatment. Wheels within wheels...
Wow. That is some serious conspiracy theory deep state shit there Publius.
You do, however have a point: giving him any kind of a massive extension would be nothing short of foolish. Then we would have both of our porcelain gods on the IL in perpetuity. I’ve always thought that these injury contracts are somehow tied in with insurance policies that give Hal some wiggle room while continuing to reap merch sales. Though I doubt Ellsbury generates much income in that arena.
As much as I hate to admit it, signing Judge to a long-term deal might be in their best interest, and I refuse to believe that somehow the Yankees “brain trust” hasn’t figured out an angle to making Stantons contract profitable. These guys might be dicks (and I think they are) but I can’t believe they’re complete idiots to just take on a contract like that without incentive.
The Yankees seem to be stuck (purposefully, intentionally) in a program of wanting to be competitive, but not necessarily to be champions. It’s like having a beautiful, teasing girlfriend who constantly offers herself but never quite goes all the way. Keep the masses in a perpetual state of hopeful fervor. Like all of us.
My apologies for the blatant sexist conclusion.
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