Thursday, June 22, 2023

Willie tweaks a trunk, Hal talks tough, Gio wrecks his pelvis, and the Yanks win by HRs, a plan that won't fly in October

Let's start with the ultimate question: 

Is it real, or is it Memorex?

Are the Yankees solid, or is Seattle a tomato can? 

Last night our limping, sickly lineup topped their Olympian batting order - France! Hernandez! Kelenic! - which is not exactly Junior, Edgar and Jay Buhner, eh? We won with HRs - three blasts, four runs - a strategy hailed by the YESsirs, but which tends to flop, come October. The homer-offense malaise extends back to the days of Grandyman and Swish, to Alfonso and Robbie, to Chris Carter and Joey Gallo: Live by the HR, die by the K.  

Look, I'm not whining: The Yanks beat Seattle, which hates us like the gout, and tonight we go for a Ryan McBroom. Take that, you fuggin' latte-drinkers. But here's the rub: Our HR offense might win a wild card slot, but come the post-season, we better find somebody who can move a runner. 

Last night, the middle of our order brought a gaping sink hole of nothingness. NY fans now bemoan the very sight of Jackie Donaldson, who was booed as he sprinted to first, trying to avoid a DP (botched by the Mariners' tomato defense.) He's now hitting .133 - zero for his last 10. 

I'm starting to feel sorry for the guy - generally a sign that The End is near.

Other matters: 

1. Apparently, while busting it to first, the adorable Willie Calhoun tweaked one of those twin water heaters that he calls "legs." He'll probably go on the IL and miss a month. Come late July, we'll hear Michael Kay talking excitedly about Calhoun's big bat returning to the team. By then, who knows where we'll be? 

Calhoun was a fine offensive lug nut, the closest we had to "a bat" off the bench. But the days are getting shorter, and it's time to let the big dog run. 

I mean Giancarlo, of course. He must play every day, even if horrible. He needs to roam an outfield, and damn the tweaked gonad. I suspect the brain trust will bring up Oswaldo Cabrera again. (Whenever Oswaldo gets demoted, somebody gets hurt. The juju gods are messing with us.) We should keep Bauers and McKinney on the fringes, but Giancarlo must play every day. Let the big dog run!

2. Yesterday, Hal Steinbrenner emerged from his nest, saw Michael Kay's shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. Before scurrying back to the panic room, Hal was asked if the Yankees might see big managerial changes. He said: 

“If we don’t make the playoffs, and we’re healthy the second half of the year … and we get the team we intended to be on the field, on the field, then I’m going to be asking some tough questions.”  

So, there you have it. If the Yankees flop, Hal will be "asking some tough questions."

So that's what it's like to be a billionaire: You live in a world without consequence. My guess is Hal's tough questions will be along the lines of,  "Does the lake house need a new kitchen?"  

3. Terrible news. The Angels' Gio Urshela fractured his pelvis and will miss the rest of the season. Damn. This sucks. Yank fans shall always have a soft spot in our hearts for Gio. Remember that time he dove into the opposition dugout, full tilt, to catch a critical foul ball? He was a great Yankee, a great pick-up, and we swapped him out for Donaldson in pursuit of a few more HRs. Damn. Then again, the lake house can always use a new kitchen, no?

24 comments:

BTR999 said...

Indeed Duque, no one should be influenced by Steingrabber’s faux tough guy act. Until the gravy train train stops rolling there will be no impetus for change. I was sickened to hear Kay trying to make the case that the team is not that that well off financially in relation to the other francises because ownership does not have remunerative interests outside its MLB revenue stream. Kay, whose lips seem surgically attached to Little Stein’s billionaire buttocks seems to feel the team cannot afford to spend over a certain amount in player’s salaries, ignoring what fans are really saying, which is not that the team isn’t spending enough, but that they are spending poorly due to the incompetence of management and the ineptitude displayed in areas such as scouting, coaching, player development and medical services. For myself personally, what really sticks in my craw is the patrician contempt shown for the fanbase on a daily basis, best personified by the smirking Boone’s prevarications and platitudes dished out for us like gruel in an 18th century orphanage.

Until there is wholesale change at the top of this organization, none of this will change. In the meantime, it’s our call.

JM said...

Amen, BTR. Kay is a shill. Boone is an idiot. Hal is an asshole. Cashman is a hollow-eyed, ferret-faced, stat-abusing weasel.

The Ghost of Spider Lockhart said...

"They played hard. I liked what I saw last night. They had some great swings out there" (Boone on the NYY 2023 Eulogy)

The Archangel said...

Yeah Kay, YES is "outside the MLB revenue stream.
Hal's part ownership in other sports franchises and the fleecing of NYS taxpayers certainly has made him a barely surviving owner.
Poor Hal should maximize his return by SELLING the team for 6B or so to someone not so dependence on "MLB revenue streams" to get by.
Kay should now be added to our FU roll call.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ BTR....I didn't see Kay's comments because I was watching the M's local broadcast on Root Sports Northwest. Kay was manipulating the facts and figures like the owners do their profit and loss financial statements. Technically, teams that have their own outside ventures such as interest in other sports league teams are owned by their holding company, in this case Yankees Entertainment Group. Ditto their local radio and TV rights. Also, when George Steinbrenner and MLB had a dispute over team logo merchandise about 20 years ago, the Yankees had a special carve out for brand revenue since the team represented over 25% of all logo revenue at the time. But the bottom line is that the Yankees are the highest-valued team in sports at $ 7.13 billion. For Kay to cry about a disadvantaged revenue flow is ludicrous and dishonest.

Celerino Sanchez said...

Can we request a DNA test to see if this guy is really George Steinbrenner’s son? It’s too bad Hank died.

DickAllen said...



Breaking news from the "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?" department:

"Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred said he has some regrets over his handling of the Houston Astros' sign-stealing scandal, admitting in a recent interview that granting immunity to the players was "maybe not my best decision ever."

You're telling us about this now? Six years later? Has the statute of limitations expired?

He went on to say:

"I mean, if I could take back the rather flip comment I made about the World Series trophy at one time, I'd take that one back. There have been times, particularly in times of pressure, when I look back, taking a little more time might have led to a different outcome."

DickAllen said...

Adding insult to injury:

"Manfred said he also regrets adding to the furor when he referred to the World Series trophy as "a piece of metal" during his 2020 interview with ESPN."

Fuuuuuuuuuuu!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Here's a good story by Brendan Kuty of the Athletic basically mocking Hal's comment on the Michael Kay show that he's dismayed at all the fan discontent towards management, particularly in regards to Cashman and Boone.

https://theathletic.com/4630665/2023/06/21/yankees-fans-upset?source=user-shared-article

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love "the YESsirs," Duque! I guess we should also call them the "Howhighs".

edb said...

It won't fly as it does not every October.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Manfred is atrocious. And he's doing nothing to increase the popularity of the game, only diminishing its legacy.

But then, what do you expect out of a man who frankly made nailing A-Rod a priority even when it meant disrupting a major operation designed to stop steroid-peddling to high schoolers in Florida? He's boardroom scum.

HoraceClarke66 said...

You're right, Carl Weitz. Those annual Forbes surveys on sports regularly rank the Yankees second only to the Cowboys in team wealth WORLDWIDE.

They are worth billions, and somehow their major broadcast holdings are NOT an outside business? Plus, there is, as mentioned here by Archie, the fleecing of NY taxpayers to the tune of two heavily subsidized stadiums...

HoraceClarke66 said...

...But apart from all this, WTF does the Yankees' outside wealth matter, if there is a salary cap in place?

As 999 points out, the fans' real complaint is not that we must, simply must have a "star" at every position, or spend x-amount over the cap limits.

We just want to win, baby, as Al Davis used to say. Pure and simple. We deplore the incompetence, not the fiscal strategy.

AboveAverage said...

HalAtrocious

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Horace...Yup, The Yankees can thank Randy Levine who was previously asst. mayor, for scheming to have the city and state taxpayers subsidize the multi-billion dollar business known as the New York Yankees. That included bribery involving the Bronx Borough President and Gov. David Patterson. Patterson was censured and fined by the ethics committee for what, in essence, was ticket bribery.

Actually, Suzyn, you can predict baseball. Baseball will continue it's greedy and exploitive practice of screwing the fans and taxpayers in order to squeeze every last cent available that can be directed to the corporate bottom-line and it's 30 subsidiaries.

The Archangel said...

I wonder how long the modern MLB house of cards can last?

With streaming services retrenching, TV contracts running out and all of the WS and All-Star games played well after kid's bedtimes, thereby strangling the sport at the root and high costs of games in person what future does it have?


Esp, when it is being played by primarily Spanish POC [That was for EBD :). Sorry, I had wine for lunch and just can't help myself.]

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Arch....so, that was the MD 2020 speaking, LOL?

Buhner's Ghost said...

You guys get too far into the weeds for me. But thanks for the shout-out! ( Olympian batting order - France! Hernandez! Kelenic! - which is not exactly Junior, Edgar and Jay Buhner). It's nice to be remembered in Olympian terms. It's the water!

The Hammer of God said...

@ BTR999, "... prevarications and platitudes dished out for us like gruel in an 18th century orphanage"

Please sir, I want more!

The Hammer of God said...

Kay should get his head out of his ass. HAL recently bought an Italian soccer club that was losing money. Why would he do that? Certainly not because the rich bastard needed money. HAL has the opposite problem: he makes too much money and needs tax shelters.

The Hammer of God said...

@ Carl, Oh I think they're worth a lot more than 7 billion. Probably closer to 25 billion.

The Archangel said...

I meant 'Carl", sorry J. Weitz

The Archangel said...

Still drinking!!