Abandon Ship!!!

As El Duque is off to a secret location somewhere near Canandaigua to take part in his annual Drunk Week (Sort of like Shark Week and probably just as bloody, or as the old joke goes… “I went to the doctor. He asked me for a blood sample a urine sample and a stool sample and I said, “Take my underwear.” )

Where was I? Ah, yes… El Duque is off enjoying has annual bacchanal and has left the rest of us to mind the store. So… 75% off all Luis Severino merch and we’re going to do a BOGO with the bullpen.

Why? Because we are one week away from the trade deadline. It’s Let’s Make a Deal time hosted by our own personal Monty Hell. Our annual Mistake Con. Where the con comes from anyone dealing with Brian Cashman.

“Sure, he’s batting .056 and only has one leg, but his hard-hit rate is in the top 5% of players batting under .100 plus he was an All-Star only three years ago before the surgery and the leprosy issue. But hey you don’t need your nose to hit home runs, right? He’s due to revert to the back of his baseball card any day now.”

In a small, and I do mean small, way I kind of feel sorry for the Brain. After all this is the only job, he’s known for the past twenty-five years and, even though he is an abysmal failure, perhaps the worst GM in the history of New York sports, a guy who makes Dave Gettleman and Isaiah Thomas look like geniuses... by next year he could easily sitting in his living room wearing an elf suit and rappelling down a bottle of vodka.

Now to the main business before us…

The real question facing this team is BUY or SELL.

This will help. Let’s think of the team as say, the final season of The Love Boat.

Sure Captain Stubing was still there and who doesn’t love Bernie Koppel, but they traded Ted Lange for Ted McGinley, and added,” The Love Boat Mermaids” as if that could make up for it.  Also, for some reason they refused to DFA Fred Grandy and drug issues reduced Lauren Tewes participation to a guest appearance. 

No amount guest shots by Carol Channing, Tom Bosley, and Jo Ann Pflug were going to make this cruise any more enjoyable. The ship be sinkin ‘ and the team be stinkin’.

Conclusion:  SELL!  Sell Sevi. Sell Bader.  Sell Gleyber. Sell them all!  Put Judge and Cole in a lifeboat throw in Volpe and Peraza as cabin boys and start rowing because, I don’t know if I can stick around for The Love Boat: The Next Wave (A real show BTW – you can look it up.)

SELL!