Friday, July 21, 2023

It's almost time for the annual Yankee Big Lie

To the world, July means Shark Week, heat domes, garage sales and National Lampoon family vacations.

To Yank fans, July means bad trades. 

I mean, really, awful, no-good, terrible trades. 

July is when all the holes left unfilled in March widen, as Brian Cashman seeks to fill them with used parts. He then bundles our top prospects and trades them for Joey Gallo, or Lance Bergman, or J.A. Happ, or Lance Lynn, or Edwin Encarnacion, or  - really, I can do this forever, but why? What would it accomplish? Life is too short. 

Whatever. We trade youth for age.

But then comes the Yankee Big Lie: Through courtier legions of Gammonites, they assure us that none of the traded prospects was going to be protected on the 40 man roster, and - come December - rivals would pillage our system like roving waves of locusts, stealing the harvest from our abundant fields. We had to trade them. We had no choice. Otherwise, the talent would have burst our seams, an exploding stardom bomb, and we would have gotten nothing... NOTHING, DO YOU HEAR ME, NOTHING!

As for those sites that rate the Yankees in the middle tier of farm systems? They are fools. The Yankee system is so clogged with talent that it must continually drain off the excess, or the entire Death Barge will explode. 

Get ready. We're about to hear the Whopper. As always, with cheese.

25 comments:

Kevin said...

People rightfully cry about the Gallo trade, but Mark Melancon for Lance Berkman...pure agita. 😫😫😫

Kevin said...

*Bergman

The Archangel said...

"Special orders don't upset us."

BK IS THE BEST.
certainly better than the modern Yanks.

BK and the late 70's Yanks help get me through law school.
And the Sporting News subscription that my parents got me each Christmas.

Kevin said...

R.I.P. Tony Bennett. The last of a Great Breed.

TheWinWarblist said...

This time of year used to be so wonderful. Now it's tiresome and dreadful. CashBrain for president.

AboveAverage said...

Brian’s Song, (first draft):

“I’ve got two phones, they help me trade.
They help me trade the youth away”

“I’ve got one mouth, it has two sides
I speak out of each in the dark as I hide”

“I’ve got two eyes, they both are blue
But I’m as blind as a bat, how ‘bout you?”

“I’ve got small hands and tiny feet
I skulk on all four, in search of fresh meat”


Celerino Sanchez said...

We could keep more young kids on the 40 man roster, if it was loaded with overpaid stiffs. It maybe wishful thinking but I think the tide is turning against the greatest GM of all time.

Kevin said...

This link guarantees nothing for Volpe, or anyone on it. My point for posting the link is to show how talent evaluators look at players. Contrary to some fan's belief, it isn't all about columns of stats: https://blogs.fangraphs.com/2023-trade-value-nos-21-30/

Many people can't seem to understand that evaluating players is a very nuanced job, one not gleaned from reading reams of analytics. 'Nuff said.

JM said...

AA, when you posted Brian's Song, all I could think of was, "I love Brian Piccolo."

As for the Yanks, at least we didn't lose yesterday.

The Hammer of God said...

I hope the Yankees lose most of their games before the trade deadline. Because that would probably prevent destructive trades. Even Brain-less Cashman would see that there was no point in trading any prospects for more old players. Hell, he might even get rid of a few old guys.

If the Yankees finish last in the A.L. east and with the worst offense in baseball, there is a chance that this would be the twilight of Cashman's GM career. HAL would probably still keep him on until the contract expired, and the Yankees would have to suck for four more years, but at least we'd have a potential end date. There is always hope.

The Archangel said...

Hammer, 4 more years?
I don't think that he can be seen in public even now.
By then he should leave for his own safety and sanity

ranger_lp said...

"Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper...tired of these fucking Whoppers..."

HoraceClarke66 said...

My parents did the same, Archie. Loved that magazine!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Kevin, you were right the first time. It was Berkman, a.k.a., "Fat Elvis." And as usual, Cashman compounded his stupidity.

The trade was a bad one, as you say—then Cashie let him walk. Berkman signed a relatively cheap, two-year, $20-million deal with the Cards, then had a bounce-back year in which he batted .301 with 31 homers, and hit .423 as St. Louis won the World Series. Again, that coulda been us.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Duque, that Jets Daily News back page seems to be from three years ago. Is that on purpose?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Can the Yanks win tonight? I really can't watch. Will be tuning in the women's World Cup instead. US v. Vietnam! (Very weird.)

el duque said...

Hoss,

I'd love to say it's me being ironic. Nope. A mess-up. I've changed it.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Yes, I now live in a perverse fan multiverse where I'm actively rooting for Yankee losses before the deadline, hoping against hope that this will prevent the inevitable crappy trade(s). I've also dramatically dialed back my Yankee EmotionMeter so I'm not as invested in their wins or losses,,,,, this is kinda pathetic, but it's the only way I can navigate the months ahead without going on a total bender!

That said> it will be a BLAST to see you all in person, our IIHIIHIIC gathering is shaping up to be the highlight of this Yankee season!

PS Sir Duque> THANK YOU for the the chyron bouquet, it's so fun too see and very much appreciated!!!!

edb said...

Genius Cashman and all of his arrogance and buffonary, puts off the Yankees' fans with his BS. Take a trip to Scranton and you will see a lack of talent. I am waiting for the Genuises excuses as to why he could not do a deal. Actually there are so many holes, where do you go first. 25 million of a pputz like Cashman. Do not dipait, the Great Jake Bauers is returning.

BTR999 said...

Finally found a trade target to my liking, courtesy Chris Kirschner @ The Athletic: the Cardinals Brendan Donovan, a 2-way LH with pop. A GG who can play LF, 3B, 2B…26 y/o and under team control through ‘27. The downside of course is the price. The Cards would want their pick of several young pitchers sure to include Schmidt and Beeter and others. And of course dependent on if the Cards are inclined to part with such a valuable piece of their own rebuild. So yeah, we’d have to give up plenty.

Because of his value going forward, I would do it.

JM said...

Berkman was the guy we traded for. Bergman was the guy in Fireside Theater.

Let's move your mukluks away from the cellophane before they scorch.

AboveAverage said...

Unwaveringly Mediocre

Doug K. said...

Stop singing and finish your homework.

ranger_lp said...

Trevino and Donaldson (practically) out for season.

07/21/23 New York Yankees recalled C Ben Rortvedt from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders.

When do we hear that Rizzo and Bader are out for the season as well? If that's the case, you'll see Florial IMO...

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Bader's out tonight. Stanton is a sure thing to hurt himself if they put him in the OF. Judge is crawling back from a toe injury.

It's the all-star/all-damaged outfield.