Saturday, July 15, 2023

Meet the new loss. Same as the old loss.

A typical 2023 Yankee defeat: 

1. We score in the first, then nothing.

2. We can't touch a pitcher whose ERA is over 6.00.

3. For nine innings, Boone grimaces; then in the postgame, he cites positives.

4. Another big contract flops.

5. Critical fly misplayed by a SS playing LF.

6. Giancarlo nearly thrown out at second after loafing on blooper.

7. Bullpen can't hold.

8. Albert Abreu is still Albert Abreu.

9. In the third, cannot plate a leadoff double.

10. Last place in the AL East. 

I'll tip my hat to the new substitution,
Take a bow for the poor execution,
Smile and grin at new coach they found,
Await another awful trade,
They bring back Tyler Wade,
And I'll get on my knees and pray...
We don't get Booned again

42 comments:

The Archangel said...

Greg Allen started his rehab in Tampa last night. 2-3.
Maybe we can get a real OF on the team again.
At least when he gets on he can cause damage.

Doug K. said...

"I'll tip my hat to the new substitution,
Take a bow for the poor execution,
Smile and grin at new coach they found,
Await another awful trade,
They bring back Tyler Wade,
And I'll get on my knees and pray...
We don't get Booned again"

Doesn't get better than that.

Katz...Jacobs/Sherman...Yankovic...Duque!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great indeed! Unlike our team.

Mildred Lopez said...


But Cashhat fired the hitting coach. Wasn't that supposed to make everything better? Man I'm really confused.

The Archangel said...

I hope Cordero has a nice financial planner.
He's getting a cool Million this year based upon a great spring training.

this is the first time that the Yanks have been in last place this late in the season since 1992.
[Sorry if anyone already posted this nugget.]t

ranger_lp said...

Mildred...you have to give Casey a week before we rip him to shreds...

Love the lyrics...

The Hammer of God said...

YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, now that I got that Roger Daltrey scream out of my system....

Well, they did get some hits last night. Maybe the problem with last night was that, for two batters into the game, it looked like they would win. It's always feels worse when they go on to blow a lead and lose. If they start out getting trounced and never come back, you can say it was a "laugher" loss.

Franchy Cordero, pinch hitting for Higgie, gets called strike one due to a pitch clock violation. What the hell? He can't get his ass in the batter's box and ready to hit before the clock runs out? Ends up striking out on two real pitches. Brilliant! Why the hell is this guy on the team? So he can strike out on a pitch clock violation? Is that his job?

I'm tellin' ya, the curse of the RRATS tattoo on their shoulders. That was not a good move by HAL. They are RRATS of ill omen. If they lose every game the rest of this season, do you think maybe STARR Insurance will demand that their tattoo be removed from the pinstripes? Word is that they don't want to be associated with the worst team in baseball.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I'm afraid we are certain to get Booned again.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Excellent, Duque! You must have been high last night!

AboveAverage said...

Lovely post, ED!

3. For nine innings, Boone grimaces; then in the postgame, he cites positives.

. . . as I recall Doug has pointed out (and I add to here) ->

The Man appears not to be well

The Man appears to need help

The Man should consider taking a mental health leave

AboveAverage said...

Also - perhaps we can hire Pete Townsend to be our new pitching coach

Publius said...

The Sean Casey era lasted for 1 inning.

Publius said...

No one knows what it's like to be the sad man, to be Cashman, behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to ruining sport's biggest prize

But my dreams they aren't as empty, as the offense seems to be
I've devoured so many spread sheets
checking out a washed up agent who's almost free

When the fans boo, I know I'm the problem
But I won't admit it or loose my cool

Boonie and the Mayor can handle the bad news
I hired them to look like a fool

No one knows what it's like to be the sad man, to be Cashman, behind blue eyes

DickAllen said...

First, I read that the Yankees lost last night, and I get depressed (I mean, even more than I already am about this season).

Then I come here and I feel much better; prepared to greet the world without a scowl.

HOORAY! LAST PLACE! FINALLY!

But now I want the basement all to myself. Come on Yankees, you can do it!

DickAllen said...

And how about that fellow Rodan!

He's quite the monster, isn't he?

We now have a great and destructive pitching rotation: Rodan, Mothra, Godzilla, and King Ghidorah.

Wreaking havoc everywhere! Coming soon to a stadium near you!

Publius said...

Let's do all of Who's Next...Gettin' In Boone, The Season Is Over, Swingin' Futile

The Hammer of God said...

@ DickAllen, I think the only reason to follow this team now is to see how bad they could be. How bad does this team need to be to dismiss Cashman? That is the question. Whether 'tis last place or to lose every game the rest of the season, I want to be there the moment HAL announces that it's time to make a GM change.

edb said...

Wont get fooled again. Hopefully, loads of fans won't get fooled again. My wife and I are considering dumping our seasons tickets.

BTR999 said...

Baba O’Casey will lead us.

Piiax said...

what ever happened with the 2 gurus hired this winter to advise the gm (can't bear to write his name anymore)? And poor Carlos, sucked into the Yankee quagmire,and speaking of quagmire's, the manager's face is really starting to look like one.

JM said...

Publius, I don't know if there's enough energy left to cover the whole album. Maybe on kazoos, without lyrics.

Doug, that Yankovic...Weird Al or Frankie?

Which reminds me, once again, to direct your attention to the polka version of "Welcome Back, My Friends" by Jimmy Sturr and his band.

That's Sturr, not Starr. Though if Jimmy Sturr had bought the patch on our uniforms, I could live with the pure entertainment value.

Doug K. said...

BaBoone O'Really?

Kevin said...

"The Who" & "Tojo Monsters" lampooning the Lads. You guys are on a roll.😂

Carl J. Weitz said...

Good song parody ideas, Publius.

Perhaps with the signing of Cole for another 8 years, we can also Parody Boras The Agent. Maybe Eminence Front Office (They're a put-on). Squeeze Box Seat and Cashman's favorite, The Bargain. My favorite is Cashman Can You Hear Me?

DickAllen said...

Hammer, if Harold actually fires The Intern, it will be the happiest day of my life, eclipsed only by the night Richard Nixon resigned.

Oh happy days!

Please pardon the political reference. Save your flames for those more deserving (and you know who they are).

AboveAverage said...

“Wake Up - Wake Up - Wake up, Danny - Wake up”

Who am I?

13bit said...

Listen all, there's a pecking order and the Intern is at the top of the food chain. First, you fire trainers and coaches. If it gets really bad, Booney gets the heave-ho AFTER the season. Cashman stays because Hal needs ass coverage. If he wasn't fired the past few years - in fact, he was REWARDED for his sub-mediocre teams - he won't be fired now. The fix is in. It's just Chinatown, Jake.

Celerino Sanchez said...

The intern will be fired when they disclose who had the cocaine in the WH

Rufus T. Firefly said...

This team is so bad that nobody is watching.

AboveAverage said...

I be watching

JM said...

We're beating a crappy team. Holy mackerel.

Gleyber and Stanton are red hot. In Colorado.

Pocono Steve said...

I watched the interesting inning. Then, did I stop watching? You Bader You Bet!

AboveAverage said...

Jackie is down

Jackie is Down

JACKIE IS DOWNaldson

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AA,

I see Jackie is still in the game.

I'll never trust you again.

Also, he's at .142 Boonie will say he had some good swings.

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

AboveAverage said...

Rufus - if I pick up a gin of your choosing during the pregame adult beverage-a-thon on the 24th will you forgive me? On tv it looked like he damaged his calf on a swing. I was filled with hopes and prayers.

AboveAverage said...

Uhm - is everyone sleeping after a win?

I say w h y ?

This is where we need to be

Hazel Motes said...

Volpe, The Great White Hope, is 2 for his last 30, a torrid .067 pace. Maybe he should ditch the chicken parm in favor of sushi or lentil salads.

The Archangel said...

ebd,
Volpe is half Asian.
Obviously, he should have tried to be a doctor like his parents.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AA,

I only drink gin on Friday evening with the missus. Pregame will be whiskey or beer. Or pepto bismol the way the team is going.

Hazel Motes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hazel Motes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.