Idea: Whatever Boston does at the deadline - selling off players or buying new ones - we should do the opposite.
And if we lose to the Mets, then screw it, we should try to out-collapse Boston - trade everything but the interlocking NY logo.
I mean it: Trade everything. Duct tape Giancarlo Stanton to Aaron Judge and deal them to the Dodgers for their entire farm system, plus their entire library of Tommy Lasorda publicity glossies with movie stars, plus the Hollywood sign, the Hollywood Bowl, the UCLA cheerleaders, Nicholas Cage, and that Chinese restaurant where people get discovered. Not only that, but if we lose to the Mets, we should form anti-everything bands called the "Oafkeepers" and the "Loud Boys," and storm Yankee Stadium, overturn the administration and launch a civil war. And wear sandwich boards. Let's bring back sandwich boards. Those people who wave signs at intersections, they should wear sandwich boards.
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12 comments:
OH MY GAWD!!!
Nicholas Cage will replace Aaron Boone and become the new manager of The New York Yankees!
F*ckin’ Brilliant!
I'd watch Cage-helmed games, AA. No question.
And what happened to sandwich boards? They were informative, fun and, I bet, really obnoxious to wear for hours on end.
If we're gonna sell, I encourage Hal to SELL EVERYTHING...that means the franchise.
Pocket a billion or two and have your accountancy wizards protect your money by buying something else you can avoid taxes with. Or structure a Bobby Bonilla deal and reduce your ownership level over time. But give up control immediately to someone who gives a fuck.
JM - as I humbly and respectfully asked the Hoss yesterday - who buys the team. Who do you see buying the Yankees?
Fox?
Apple?
Bezos?
Cuban?
Paul McCartney?
Taylor Swift?
Anita McCambridge*?
* owner of the Charleston Chiefs
Considering the team is currently valued somewhere around $7 billion, it would have to be a huge partnership.
The Steinmagen family has, I think, about 70% ownership through the Yankees Corporation or some such entity. There are a bunch of minority owners, who may just stay put or maybe increase their investments, if possible.
But getting that $5 billion or so to get rid of Hal...a tall order.
Hey, I hear the Saudis like to buy entire sports, and even some teams. What could be more All-American? Though the Saudis might put Jared Kushner in charge of their investment. Which would probably be worse than Hal.
Yeah, getting rid of Hal and his group of horrible corporate toadies is a ridiculous pipe dream. I mean, why would anyone with a few billions to throw around be interested? Like I've said before, there have got to be much better investments around than a flaccid franchise in a declining sport.
Why do we do it ourselves?
We start a GoFundMe...
We all own the Yankees at that point...
Never mind sandwich boards. What about those barrels with suspenders that cartoonists always had people wearing when they went broke?
Funny concept, that. The idea that they could loose absolutely everything, right down to their skivvies, but still be able to acquire a barrel, attach suspenders, and haul it around in lieu of clothing.
I don't know about the Chinese restaurant, Duque, but I want the Brown Derby. That way we'd have...a brown derby. To go with our barrel on suspenders.
All we need is 7 million people giving a thousand each.
Owned by the people…like the Packers.
Don’t be a Commie, JM. you know we’re only allowed to own things we go into debt for, by paying usurious interest rates.
So BTR - I guess I won't pony up my thousand dollars then
Hold it aside AA…stranger things have happened., just not sure when.
Torres back in the lineup tonight at 2B
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