I have heard all the rumors about a tiny dart with some unknown variety of curare found in Josh Donaldson's leg after his injury, and while it is true that I spent many years in the Amazon in search of the Lost City of Z, I have to insist that this is all hogwash.
I was, in fact, at my godson's wedding in the wilds of western Massachusetts, where I encountered my friend James, who is the Greatest Yankee Fan in SoCal. James was once ejected from The Big A in Anaheim for rooting too vociferously for our New York Yankees. True story. No profanity, no drunkenness involved. Just rooting for the visiting team...forbidden in L.A.
But I digress.
James and I have argued for many years now over just what is plaguing the Yankees. After idling through assorted Stantons and Ellsburys, Pavanos and Gleybers, it all comes down to the same sort of irresolvable, chicken-and-egg argument:
Obviously, the problem is Brian Cashman. But HAL won't fire him. Then isn't the problem...
Enough already. Time to break away from this tautology from hell, and turn to another schema—namely, the one developed by that cheery, umlauted chronicler of hyphenated death, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
You'll recall that Dr. Kübler-Ross—that sly minx—broke our anticipation of The Big D (not to be confused with Big G, but similar), down into five basic stages of grief.
They are, let me remind you: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance—how often have we all gone through those on just a single Aaron Hicks at-bat?
But I think it's time we broke the five stages down for the 2023 Yankees season, and assigned an avatar to each of them:
BARGAINING—Brian Cashman. "Hey, the next Frankie Montas is just two weeks away!"
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13 comments:
Stat baby on the chiron?
This website is dead to me.
Goodbye.
Haiku Tuesday- 2 of 2
Road Grays breed Road Blues
RizzO is batting clean up
Washed up Rinse Repeat
Fuck all of them,
except the mirror and Dr. Elisabeth.
The good Doctor must have been a blast at weddings.
Rufus, don't the psycho get you down. She gives lectures in the empty auditoriums of her mind.
I want them to lose and to lose badly, just to watch the motherfucker burn. But knowing my luck, they'll win, like, 14-3. And just like when Stephen Drew, or Hicks or whatever would hit an awesome home run, they'd then get to stink up the joint for another few weeks.
Suckness is as suckness does.
Suckness is like a box of chocolates. You never know just how they'll suck until you bite into another loss.
Rufus, I always look at the name and think CBD. Though Duque putting that up is a little puzzling. Plus, that quote is not inaccurate.
Ohtani is trying to kill us in response to Judge winning the MVP. He's succeeding.
This team is flat out collapsing.
Will it finally cost boone his job?
2 hits…maybe Lawson is being missed?
Excellent post and so true. However, I am sure acceptance works for Hal. The Yankees are making a fortune and that is all Hal cares about.
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