A day in the life of the Yankees: Lasagna, longshots and luxury boxes...

Yesterday, the good, the bad and the ugh... 

1. The Bargain Barge signed old pal Jonathan Loaisiga - aka Johnny Lasagna - to a one-year, "show-us-your-boobs-stuff" deal, the kind common to small-market franchises. If he tanks, no big loss. If he pitches well, he gets signed next winter by the Mets.

I'm fine with one-year deals. I think they rouse the best behavior from Yank fans. If we want a guy to stay, to join our flock, we cheer harder and more nicely, forgiving the occasional Gleyber Glitch. 

Take, for example - um - Wondering Juan Soto. Last year, he enjoyed the sweetest treatment that a Yankee newcomer ever received. I believe it helped him rise from a July slump. This year, he'll get to know an entirely different side of the Yankee fan base. I think he'll be - well - surprised. 

But Loaisiga is our primary need: Pitching, pitching, pitching. We cannot expect Luke Weaver to pitch the season, start to finish, as closer. We need a big, scary lefty, sorta what Aroldis was, back before Covid. We can snicker over Clay Holmes starting for the Mets, but losing the Clay Pidgeon leaves a 63-inning hole in a swiss cheese bullpen. Remember: Pitching, pitching, pitching...

2. Late yesterday, the Yankees traded a young catcher, Carlos Narvaez, to Boston for a rookie league arm and some international movie money. This probably helps both teams. The Redsocks, for example, had just dealt their No. 1 prospect (according to Baseball America) a catcher named Kyle Teel, with three other kids, for pitching, pitching, pitching.

Boston acquired Garret Crochet, a 25-year-old ace with a 3.58 ERA (146 IP) for the lowly White Sox. (Keep in mind: Luis Gil, 26, pitched 151 innings, to a 3.50 ERA. In simple terms, Gil was better.) 

If this represents what the Yankees might get for Gil - hmmm. 

This is not a suggestion to trade him. But... hmmm.

As for that international money we received, Hal should convert it to Bitcoin and jingle it in his pocket, when he feels distressed. The Yankees still won't come close in the bidding for that Japanese pitcher, who'll be a Dodger anyway. It's only money, except to Hal, for whom it is validation.

3. According to the Internet, the Yankees may have lost Soto due to their stingy refusal to add a luxury box to the offer. 

If so, let's acknowledge the magnificent karma that haunts our continuing pageant of idiocy. 

One key reason the Yankees razed rather than renovate their old, beautiful stadium was - wait for it - luxury boxes! After all, they were the team that symbolized power and money, be it the mayor, the billionaires or doomed chief executives of health insurance. 

Forget pitching, pitching, pitching. It's luxury, luxury, luxury...

Sky boxes are the ultimate revenue stream, a personal ATM for the owner, and - best of all - they signify an America where the rich never have to cross urine streams with the barefoot and unhorsed. 

They used to say in basketball, the team that lives by the jump shot, dies by the jump shot. I guess it's the same with luxury boxes.